 | Rev. Patrick Notley is the Associate Pastor of First Presbyterian Church located at 525 N. Broadway in downtown Wichita. Reverend Notley received an MA in Divinity at San Francisco Theological Seminary and a Master of Arts in Christian Education from Presbyterian School of Christian Education in Richmond, VA. Born in Denver, CO and raised on the East Coast, Reverend Notley along with his wife, relocated to Wichita in 1997 to join the church, where he is responsible for Evangelism Educational programs. You can reach Reverend Notley at (316) 263-0248 ext. 22 or by email at pwnotley@firstpresbywichita.org |
Religion
2006-03-30 14:20:00
Is oral sex between a husband & wife a sin?
UESTION: I understand that adultery and sex outside of marriage are serious sins, but is oral sex between a husband and wife a sin...or a serious sin? Is masturbation a sin...or a serious sin?
ANSWER: The Apostle Paul in his first letter to the Christian Churches in Corinth states, at two different points that, “All things are lawful, but not all things are helpful.” (I Cor. 6:12; I Cor. 10:23) In each of these instances he is repeating back to the Corinthian Christians statements that he has heard from them as a defense for their continued bad behavior. The issue before the Corinthian Church was that those who had converted to Christianity wanted to continue to engage in idol worship, to visit the temple prostitutes and to generally make no changes in their lifestyle because as “saved” persons they were no longer at risk because they had been freed from the laws of humanity. Their theory was that with their salvation assured their behavior in this life made no difference, hence they could say that to them, “all things were lawful.” They could engage in gluttonous behavior, be sexually promiscuous, and generally do what they desired at the moment because what they did in this life no longer mattered. The only thing that mattered was their ultimate salvation which they took to be assured. Paul responds by agreeing with them that all things may be lawful but not all things are either helpful or lead to the up-building of the person or the community. “Not all things are helpful.” (I Cor. 6:12b) “Not all things build up.” (I Cor. 10:23b). The implication of what Paul is stating here is that it is not the behavior it self that is at issue, rather it is the effect that it has upon the person and the community that is more to the point. In Paul’s time, temple prostitution was clearly a legal and lawful behavior that a person of Corinth could engage in, whether they were a Christian or not; but to engage in such behavior was not helpful to the building up of the community and was therefore a behavior that the Christian was to no longer engage in. It is important to note here that Paul does not use the word sin or salvation in these passages because, for him it is not an issue of abstaining from behavior in order that one might obtain salvation, rather it is that one behaves in a different way that attempts to build up all people because one is living into the salvation that is assured because of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.So… To answer the questions posed about oral sex and masturbation, I must do so by asking a question. Do these behaviors build up or destroy the marriage relationship? Do they cause conflict with in the relationship or create new bonds of understanding about what it means to commit one’s whole life to another person? My opinion is that we need to spend less time trying to figure out what is sinful and what degree of sinfulness a particular behavior might be and more time living into the life that has been given to us by our creator. We need to search our hearts and faith understanding to help us discover whether what we do in all parts of our lives is helpful in building up our relations to one another and to God. I would suspect that if we engage in behavior that demeans either ourselves or others we cannot be engaging in behavior that honors the God we claim to worship. However, if we are engaging in behavior that allows for the dignity of ourselves and others to shine through and grow, then we are doing so in honor of or God.
