 | Rev. Bill Shook has been with Prairie Homestead Retirement Center for 27 years. 26 of those years he has acted as the Administrator. He retired in March 2006 but is still involved with the organization in a consultant role. Over the 27 years of service he developed the retirement community into a continuing care facility. As a continuing care facility retirees can come in at any level of independence and live out their lives on the campus. Rev. Shook holds many degrees, has served in numerous advisory positions and is licensed as a Nursing Home Administrator. He helped start and acted as the Administrator of Homestead Health Center nursing facility for a number of years along with being the Administrator of Prairie Homestead. Rev. Shook can be reached at the Prairie Homestead office, 316-263-8264 or by email at abei@websurf.net |
Senior Living
2006-10-01 12:27:00
How to handle a combative mom
By Rev. Bill Shook
ANSWER: In the brief description you gave of your mother, I would suggest she seek residency in a retirement community which offers the following basic services:
1. Dietary
2. Housekeeping
3. Emergency 24 hour services
During an assessment, the staff would assist the family and the prospective resident in determining the services required by the individual. For example, it appears this older adult needs to live in an apartment on the ground floor within a short distance of needed services. It sounds as if this prospective resident has a memory impairment, which does not compromise her health and safety. Based on this brief description, I do not think she needs to live in an assisted living environment but she does need an environment in which the specific services listed above are available.
I would suggest the issue of driving be handled with the help of the Driver’s License Bureau by requesting she be called in for a test which includes a driving test. This approach places the responsibility on the regulatory agency and not on the family. She is not going to be happy but the family will be able to refer to the state requirements to be a licensed driver.
To address your mother’s stubbornness, I would suggest you review the issues which makes living in her own home a threat to her health and safety. Do not argue but rather simply state the problems. If you feel yourself getting angry or upset, walk away. I would suggest you discuss a housing alternative the next time your mother’s health and safety is compromised in her home. If the adult children do not have influence with their mother, they should recruit assistance from someone who has influence such as the pastor, attorney or friend.
