 | Rev. Bill Shook has been with Prairie Homestead Retirement Center for 27 years. 26 of those years he has acted as the Administrator. He retired in March 2006 but is still involved with the organization in a consultant role. Over the 27 years of service he developed the retirement community into a continuing care facility. As a continuing care facility retirees can come in at any level of independence and live out their lives on the campus. Rev. Shook holds many degrees, has served in numerous advisory positions and is licensed as a Nursing Home Administrator. He helped start and acted as the Administrator of Homestead Health Center nursing facility for a number of years along with being the Administrator of Prairie Homestead. Rev. Shook can be reached at the Prairie Homestead office, 316-263-8264 or by email at abei@websurf.net |
Senior Living
2006-12-01 09:28:00
Older folks and the holidays
What tips do you have for older folks and the holidays?
ANSWER: During the holidays, it is common for families to gather at a given time and enjoy being in an environment where they are loved and accepted. Some of the happiest moments experienced by families are gathering at the home of grandparents or parents for a meal made up of those special and favorite foods prepared by people we love. This gathering is more than enjoying a delightful meal and sharing in non-stop conversation. It is a spiritual experience. We reach back to recall our common history and remember anew both the difficult and happy moments of our family’s life. The meaningful traditions which have been established over many years speak eloquently of the joy of being home for the holidays.
As these gatherings are carried out from year to year, we begin to notice our parents and grandparents are experiencing several changes which cause them to redefine what the holidays mean to them. Their generation of family members and their very good friends are dying. Some have become widows or widowers and they have become more isolated from their peers. The adult children seek to fill this void with an invitation to their home but this transition is difficult, Instead of hosting the family, the older adult becomes one of the guests. Some are very satisfied to turn the work over to other members of the family while other older family members wish to experience holidays the way it used to be.
Obviously, the holidays will not be the way they used to be in terms of the setting and the experience. Perhaps the one constant in this transition is continuing to celebrate the holidays in terms of a spiritual experience. I would encourage the elders of the family to share their stories regarding past holidays and provide details of how the family gathered to celebrate. It is important to share both the joys and the sadness in these stories. This sharing is more than a few facts. It is a legacy which our children and grandchildren need to experience.
Recently I talked to several older adults regarding their feelings of happiness or sadness during the holiday season. They spoke of the difficult moments in their personal history and how these experiences influenced their feelings regarding the holidays. But they agreed the key to a meaningful celebration of the holiday season was being with other people. They would prefer to be with family members but the emphasis was being with other people. The older people I talked to told me loneliness represented a very significant fear for them as the holiday season approached. Based on these comments I would suggest older people who live alone and will not be with their family, seek a friend with whom to share the holiday season. Several churches and social agencies offer this opportunity. Many families are separated by long distances and simply cannot gather as they did in the past. Older people should not be embarrassed because their family cannot be with them. Perhaps they need to take the initiative to reach out through their church or other safe programs to be a friend to someone.
