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Relationships
2002-06-01 17:41:00
A female co-worker is edging in on our marriage.
Question: We've been married for a good long time. Like all couples we've had our ups and downs. Lately I've been getting the distinct feeling that a female co-worker of his is edging in on our marriage. She was blatantly flirtatious with him at the company's get-together. She's called here a couple of times and I've noticed that Jack works late more frequently than usual.
Answer: Remember who's in the driver's seat, you are. He's coming home to you every night, not her. The cards are stacked in your favor - your job is to play your hand so his attention and love are refocused on you.After years of marital routine, intimacy, and excitement, communication becomes a little threadbare. You know each other so well -- nothing is surprising anymore. But you CAN reawaken the magic in many small and wonderful ways. Most effective of all, when did you last tell your husband how much you love him, how much he means to you? When you share your feelings look him deep in the eyes and follow up with a few tender kisses to drive the message home. Another surefire way to make him remember why he fell in love with you is to replay your very own love movie. Pull out the old photos that show you so happy together and experience the feelings coming over you. Then talk about them. Remember what really turned him on when you first made love? How about an encore? In words and deed, rekindle these feelings of tenderness and passion that you both felt. What did you do that was so special to the two of you? Did you go dancing sometimes, take walks in the moonlight, have breakfast in bed and cuddle for hours while listening to your favorite music? When have you done that last?Invent new love signals. Leave enticing messages on his pillow or in the pocket of his jacket. Send an e-mail "Can't wait till you come home!" Construct a really romantic weekend together and rediscover the meaning and of love. Make evenings with Jack fun. Movie nights, cooking up a simple dinners to share with friends, attending a lecture together. Give him reasons to want to rush home and be with you. Nourish your marriage. It's the best way to keep love in -- and intruders out.
