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Diet & Nutrition

2008-10-01 15:56:00

“I can’t” is a common phrase

Question: I can’t seem to reach any goals I set, what am I doing wrong?

Answer: How many times have you heard someone say “I can’t”? “I can’t exercise”, “I can’t lose weight”, “I can’t make more money.”? Sometimes “I can’t” gets disguised like this; “I don’t have time to exercise”, “It’s too hard to lose weight”, or “I’m stuck in this dead end job”. No matter how the words are verbalized, the end result is the same, un-accomplished goals. I tell my children “I can’t means one of two things either “I won’t”, or “ I don’t know how”. I go on to say “If you don’t know how let me show you, if you won’t let me spank you.” The question then becomes not “Can I accomplish my goal” but rather “How can I achieve my goal”? Many times we stay stuck in the “I can’t” frame of mind because we don’t know what to do to move forward. Building positive beliefs, taking action on clear goals, and learning from past experiences are the keys to “I can” thinking. I taught preschool for 19 years and believe me “I Can’t” thinking starts early. One day I asked my kids if they had ever seen an “I Can’t”. I then argued that since no one had ever seen an “I Can’t” it must not exist. I challenged my students to bring a can from home the following day. They brought all kinds of cans from soup cans to pop cans to trash cans. I then asked the students to cut out pictures of eyes from magazines and glue them onto their cans. When they were finished they had an “I (eye) can”. They could see, touch, and smell it. We then placed our “I Cans” where we could see them every day. If someone slipped with an “I can’t” they would go get their “I can” and rephrase their sentence stating what they could do. When I do this with adults, I ask them to fill their cans with positive statements that affirm the “I can” mentality. I encourage them to read a statement every day in order to crystallize these positive thoughts on a daily basis. Positive statements can be anything from Bible verses “I can do everything though Christ who gives me strength” Philippins 4:13, to quotes from the motivation masters like Zig Ziglar, “Man was designed for accomplishment, engineered for success, and endowed with the seeds of greatness.” Starting every day with an “I can” frame of mind will get you many steps closer to your goals. I have a great poster hanging in my basement. It depicts Garfield and his puppy pal Odie sitting on a tree branch. Garfields’ comment: “It’s amazing what one can accomplish when one doesn’t know what one can’t do.” Whatever we think we can or can’t do is the truth. We have ability to change our own outcomes, in part, by how we think. Therefore, it’s imperative that we train our brains to think toward success. Part of that process involves setting clear, written goals. The other part of the process is, as Nike so succinctly put it, “Just do it”. Occasionally we get so wrapped up in planning we never get around to doing. Take steps daily to move forward knowing full well that “I Can” accomplishes the goal. It is imperative that we move past “stinkin’ thinkin’”. Begin viewing past mistakes and failures as learning opportunities. Someone once said “Success is moving from failure to failure without the loss of enthusiasm.” Refusal to remain mired in the past is critical to future success. No matter what the goal, weight loss, financial gain, or better relationships, staying stuck in past mistakes halts any hope of changing current reality. Learning from, and then letting go of the past is a certain key to attaining goals. Failure is not final. Building “I can” belief enables you to reach your goal. By drinking a daily dose of positive material, learning to set clear, concise goals, taking positive steps in the direction of your goals, and removing remaining thoughts of failure as finality, you can move into the future where goals become reality.