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Health & Wellness

2008-10-01 08:48:00

What exactly is “emotion coaching?”

Question: I read your article last month on Emotion Coaching. My daughter doesn’t necessarily have temper tantrums, but does seem to struggle somewhat with her emotions. Is ‘Emotion Coaching’ only for out-of-control children or might it be helpful for all children and their parents? Could you please explain what Emotion Coaching actually is and how it works?

Answer: Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to clarify what ‘Emotion Coaching’ can do for all families. You are correct; Emotion Coaching is not just for those children who lose control. It can be quite helpful for all children and their parents. I posed your question to Lisa M. Butler, LMFT who practices out of our offices here at Emotional Journey. She responded, “Emotion Coaching is a style of parenting that helps the child to have emotional awareness and strategies for handling the ups and downs of life. The concept is taught by John Gottman in his book Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child. In learning this coaching style of parenting, the parent is able to empathize, soothe, and guide their children through the confusing world of emotions. Parents learn to accept difficult emotions as a natural part of being human, and they use emotional moments as opportunities for teaching their children important life lessons and building closer relationships with them. Children of “emotion coaches” tend to be more confident and better able to soothe themselves, bounce back from distress, and carry on with productive activities. These children become emotionally intelligent”. Lisa works well with families and I consider myself quite fortunate to have her as a recent addition to my practice. Together we can better meet the needs of all of our client families. I personally consider her to be gifted in working with children and their families, although she works well with all ages and on a wide variety of issues. Question: I recently read something about ‘Emotional Freedom Techniques’ therapy. Have you ever heard of this and if so, what do you think about it? Do you use this technique in your practice? Answer: Actually I do use ‘Emotional Freedom Techniques’ (EFT) with some of my clients. I have found it to be especially helpful while working with those who have endured some type of trauma and/or abuse, whether it occurred recently or in the past. This includes several of my clients with a diagnosis of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) (formerly known as Multiple Personality Disorder). For additional information, you may wish to check out www.emofree.com. It is a web site packed with information on the benefits of treatment utilizing EFT. In addition, there is a page devoted to those cases involving trauma and abuse; ‘Trauma & Abuse Case Histories Menu’. This page can be located at http://www.emofree.com Gary Craig is the author of this site. He states, “EFT has a high success rate with Trauma and Abuse issues, especially when applied to specific events”. This page gives numerous accountings of individuals who were helped to overcome issues of trauma and abuse through the use of EFT with a trained therapist. Although this site mentions people who have successfully used EFT upon themselves, I would like to offer a word of caution. The use of EFT can bring up many painful memories which might be too much for some individuals to handle on their own. Therefore, for issues involving trauma and/or abuse I would certainly recommend that you not try this on your own. Instead, you should seek the help of a licensed therapist who has been specifically trained in the use of this method. I would like to mention that although recovery from trauma and abuse is normally painful and difficult work, the use of the ‘Tearless Trauma Technique’ (a specific EFT technique) can help to ‘take the sting’ out of the process. Gary Craig states on his web site, “EFT is a powerful new discovery that combines two well established sciences so you can benefit from both at the same time: 1. Mind Body Medicine 2. Acupuncture (this new version does not require needles--anyone can do it). There is voluminous scientific evidence that each of these methods, applied by itself, can provide impressive relief. But when you combine them both with EFT, a profound synergistic effect is possible. I have observed this repeatedly since 1997 and have seen many stunning results. I believe it is this synergism that allows EFT to sometimes work where nothing else will”. If you have any questions about EFT and whether or not it might be helpful to you, please give me a call. I would be more than happy to visit with you over the phone (at no charge) to discuss your own unique situation.