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Religion

2008-12-31 09:59:00

Religion within broken relationships

Answer: This question could have been proposed to “Dear Abby,” who might have referred it to me or to another religious leader. I believe it is God’s grace that is prompting your present feeling, moving you to ask for help. When you say “I have never been that religious . . . ,” I assume you mean: “I have never been religious.” That is the root of the problem! However, if you were religious as a child, you can still recover your earlier devotion. You certainly “have missed providing your kids with something they need.” Fortunately, your children are still young enough to learn, even if they have to be bribed or compelled by your withholding privileges - in case they don’t hear you. Often children hear more than parents think they do. Inasmuch as their other parent has not been any part of their lives for several years, she or he can hardly object to your injecting religious and moral training into their lives, and into your own life. First of all, your children are old enough to understand that they and you and everybody makes mistakes. I suggest you sit down with them, and tell them you have made a great mistake by ignoring an important part of life, namely their and your religious and moral education. Tell them that from now on, you and they are going to church (or synagogue, if your roots are Jewish) every Sunday or Saturday. You don’t ask them, you tell them! Explain that religion is necessary for your and their souls, as it is natural for everyone to experience a hunger for God. Discipline is a very important part of rearing children. If you don’t have any discipline in your home, your life must be an anticipation of hell. I hope you have the backbone to insist on some discipline, and use the system of rewards and punishments for good and bad behavior. Discuss with your pastor or rabbi or some good religious parents, who are acquainted with you, about how your ought to proceed. I suggest that you need the instruction as much as do your kids. Perhaps, if religion had been a part of your life from the beginning, you and your ex might still be happily together. Religion provides principles for a good and happy life, both in this world and after death. Without religion you make many more mistakes, some of which can be avoided with the help of religious practice. Religion is very important for forming good character with worthy ideals. I suspect your kids will be more open than you think to your insistence that you and they become attached to the Church or to some traditional religious group. Probably have friends from school or the neighborhood, who are involved with their church groups. I invite you to visit with your children a nearby Roman Catholic Church and meet the priest or some good Catholic person and discuss with them your situation. Also, I urge you to avoid the many cults, so-called new-age religions, and many television preachers that have sprung up in recent decades, attract large crowds, and are more interested in getting money than in leading persons to have a relationship with God. Such preachers are not from God! Their followers tend to drift into agnosticism and indifference to religion and morality, or superstition; and they are the folks who mock religion and generally are self-centered and selfish. Above all, get a prayerbook and use it. Have a good translation of the Bible in your home, and read from it every day - at least a brief selection. I use the version “Good News for Modern Man,” published by the American Bible Society, as it is a translation easy to read and understand. In reading the Bible, skip over the census records and genealogies and antiquated laws regarding treatment of leprosy, as in the Book of Numbers, and go on to read the more interesting and instructive parts of the Bible, which the Word of God inspired by God. Daily prayer is essential for any kind of union with God. Become acquainted also with the lives of the Saints, who are God’s friends and in a position to help you through life. Teach your kids to pray with you. Begin with short prayers, e.g. the Lord’s Prayer, and/or one of the Psalms in the Bible. Don’t delay! Your kids are growing older every day, and the present time may be the only time you can influence them toward God. True religion and communication with God can be the most precious and lasting inheritance you can leave to your children. At death they must leave behind their money and material things and go to account to God for their lives spent here on earth. You don’t want them to appear before God’s judgment seat naked and ignorant of him and his laws.