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Diet & Nutrition

2009-05-01 11:45:00

Feeling unmotivated to find new work

Question: Recently, I was laid off from my job of 15 years. While the work I was doing wasn’t really fulfilling, it was a steady paycheck. I have no idea what to do next. I find myself unmotivated to go out and find work. I really am not looking forward to going back to the same type of work I was doing, but it’s familiar to me and I don’t know what else I’d do. Besides eating all the time, I find myself sitting around not doing anything at all. Please offer some insight. I need motivation.

Answer: Eating too much or not enough is a common emotional reaction. Other emotional reactions include vegetating on the couch with a remote, napping too much or not enough, or becoming angry quickly even in small situations. First, realize that these are merely symptoms of the problem; you must get to the real source of the problem in order to break the cycle. Emotional reactions usually come from stress of some type. It could be work stress, financial stress, relationship stress, mental stress or physical stress. When we deal with or eliminate the stress at the source, our lives become more balanced and the cookies don’t hold quite the same appeal. Handle stress by learning to respond instead of react in any given situation, brainstorming ways to handle stress, and creating and working on a plan of action. There are several differences between reaction and response. Reactions are based on gut instinct. We react without thinking. Response is conscious and thought out. Reaction comes from a negative “victim” mentality. “I can’t believe they let ME go.” Response comes from a positive, “I take responsibility” mentality. “I may not be happy with what’s happened, but I take responsibility for what happens from this point forward.” Reaction leaves you feeling drained. Response gives you energy. You are able to choose, in any given situation whether to respond or react. First, learn to stop in the situation and choose a different response. For example, instead of thinking, “I can only do the kind of work I’ve done for years that brings me no satisfaction.” respond by saying, “This is a perfect opportunity for me to do something I enjoy.” The truth is some of the largest successful businesses were started in a “down” economy. Choosing a positive response puts you in the mind set that allows you to take the next step. The next step is brainstorming ways to handle the core problem. Instead of focusing on the problem, work on a solution. Brainstorm ways to handle the stressful situation such as taking a walk to clear your mind, reading helpful material, or nurturing yourself in some other healthy way. Journal your thoughts and feelings about the situation. Getting them out of your head and on to paper helps you see things more objectively. Calling a friend or seeking out a counselor or coach is an effective option as well. Finally, make a plan of action and begin to work on it every day. Instead of hanging out with the cookies on the sofa, get to work on one or two of the ideas you came up with. Decide if you need any other knowledge or skills, and get to work on them. Seek assistance from others who have accomplished what you want to accomplish. Take one or two steps each day toward what you want to be doing. My mentor Donna Krech says, “There is something that you know how to do, that no one has had to teach you. That is your passion; that is what you can build a career on. Action negates anxiety.” Response overrides the reaction tendency. Each time you choose to respond, you get closer to overcoming emotional eating reaction. Make the choice to respond, come up with some great options, and handle the core stress, and work your plan. You will break the cookie cycle and find fulfillment in your work..