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Hospice

2009-07-01 12:05:00

Visiting someone with Alzheimer’s

Question: What do I do or say when visiting someone with Alzheimer’s?

Answer: Alzheimer’s disease is the most common form of dementia. With its memory loss and personality changes, it robs families of the loved one they used to know. As the illness progresses, it becomes more difficult for family and friends to know how to relate to the person. As a nurse, I have worked with dementia patients for 18 years and have seen families who struggle with knowing what to say or do. So I developed a list of activities to help friends and loved ones stay involved with someone who has Alzheimer’s, especially as comprehension, memory and behavior deteriorate. These were activities I found to work or that families had shared. People tend to stay away from visiting a friend or relative with Alzheimer’s because they do not know what to do or say. It is important to remember that being with someone with dementia is a new opportunity to that person. Say who you are – if the person with Alzheimer’s thinks you are someone else, don’t try to correct them. Be where they are – arguing will only cause upset. Families often want to do something special when visiting such as taking them out to dinner or to a public function. Depending what stage the person is in the illness, the experience can be confusing, distressing and even frightening. Instead, keep numbers of visitors small and stimulation to a minimum – it’s all about that person. It’s about the doing, about being present for someone. Being flexible is so important. Sometimes it’s just your presence. Every activity will not work for everyone. Find what interaction activities work for you. • Listen to music • Toss a ball • Color pictures • Make homemade lemonade • Count trading cards • Sort tokens or trading chips • Read out loud • Rake leaves • String beads • Bake cookies or bread • Decorate a cake • Make a collage • Wash the windows • Feed the ducks • Brush or comb each other’s hair • Plant seeds • Look at family photographs • Wipe off the kitchen table • Dust the furniture • Fold clothes • Have a friend visit with a well behaved pet • Cut pictures out of magazines or greeting cards • Play dominoes • Look at favorite childhood books • Sort objects by color or shape • Sing!! • Dance!! • Wash dishes • Sweep the floor • Wash the car • Make ice cream or popcorn • Make a pie • Take a walk around the yard • Reminisce about sports, school, family, job • Have a picnic • Water house plants • Name the presidents • Play an instrument • Share a hug or hold their hand Just be present – follow their lead!