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Senior Living

2009-08-01 12:16:00

Symptoms of loneliness?

Question: My elderly mother lives alone and does not appear to be taking care of herself. My sister and I both work and are unable to spend much time with her. Every time we approach the subject of placing her in a retirement community or assisted living residence she begins to cry and questions our love for her. Could these be symptoms of loneliness. Where do we go from here?

Answer: Understanding why their mother may be acting this way is the key to enhancing the her overall health and wellness. “Living alone” are the key words in this question. “How does Mom spend her time each day?” Loneliness can be a distressing and debilitating condition, and can often have an adverse impact on overall health. With age comes losses the loss of a spouse, loss of our social and professional network, loss of the ability to drive, loss of energy levels and the loss of overall good health. Seniors often find themselves more and more homebound, bored and alone alone with aches, pains, and worries. The stress related to loneliness begins to impact their physical wellbeing, they become depressed. They may begin to ignore personal hygiene and appearance, stop cooking and settle for whatever is in the refrigerator, or just skip a meal. Like any living thing without attention, seniors can wither away. Children often wrongly assume that their parents “cannot” take care of themselves, when in fact they may be lonely or depressed. The need for socialization is important at all ages but even more so in life’s later journey. Finding opportunities for continuing lifestyles and interests is essential to maintaining physical and emotional wellbeing, maintaining mental alertness, and avoiding the impact of loneliness on health issues. For elderly parents and loved ones, interaction with peers and opportunities to socialize may take some planning. There are many senior service organizations and centers that offer meals, transportation and social events. For some, these services may be the answer. Your local Department on Aging will have information on these organization and services. Others may want to change their environment entirely. For those, opportunities for socialization abound in retirement communities and assisted living residences. As you explore retirement communities or assisted living residences for your parent or loved one, personally visit those which provide opportunities for seniors to take part in social, cultural, and spiritual activities. Look for a retirement community or assisted living residence that offers a variety of educational classes, health seminars, religious services, wellness assessments and fitness classes along with transportation services. Check out the dining programs – look for choices in menu selections and a positive dining environment. Most communities will be happy to invite you and your parent to an event in the residence or to enjoy a sampling of the meal service. Look for community gathering areas in the residence that support one on one interaction such as conversation nooks, hobby learning centers, theaters and musical venues, etc. While there watch residents interact with one another and the staff, look for respect, smiles, support and laughter!!! You may find that once your loved one finds outlets for socialization again and begins to interact with their peers regularly whether it is through supportive services or a move to a retirement community or assisted living residence, their overall health will improve, and the person they once where will resurface - smiles and joy will become more evident once again. As a family member once told me, “I used to get a call from Mom every morning, noon, and night – now she is never in her apartment and the only reason she calls is to check on the grandkids and to tell me about the adventures of her day!” Socialization and personal interaction with peers will help to maintain the highest possible level of functioning and quality of life for everyone as we age, but most of all for our seniors.