 | Nadine Friesen is bereavement coordinator for the Newton and McPherson offices of Hospice Care of Kansas where she provides grief support. She is a presenter for “Caring for the Caregiver” conferences offered in various communities in Kansas and was involved in developing the Hospice Care of Kansas children’s bereavement camp called “Healing Hearts”. She also brings years of experience in pastoral ministry. For more information contact Hospice Care of Kansas at (316) 721-8803 or toll free at 1-800-HOSPICE. |
Hospice
2009-12-01 09:50:00
Helping others with the grieving process
Question: How can I get through this holiday season after the death of my loved one?
Answer: The journey of grief finds some of its greatest challenges during times of celebration and gatherings of family and friends - or when one is alone. There is no way to ignore the fact that someone you loved dearly is no longer physically present. While others around you may be experiencing joy and happiness, you may sense sadness and heaviness. While others may seem to have energy and excitement about holiday preparations and celebrations, you may feel tired and have little interest in all that can be part of this season. You are encouraged to remember the challenging and exhausting process that grief can be. Your life has undergone major changes in the past year. Your heart needs patience and gentleness to heal as you re-discover your identity and incorporate the death into your life. Here are a few suggestions as you anticipate your first holiday season without your loved one:
• Communicate your feelings with those closest to you.
• Give yourself the freedom to say yes or no to traditions and events as you feel able to participate in ways that are meaningful to you.
• Get enough rest.
• Plan for ways to specifically remember and honor your loved one. Place their picture among your decorations, buy an ornament or donate a gift in their memory. Invite family and friends to reminisce about him or her.
• Attend a holiday gathering at hospice or your church with others who have also experienced a loss.
• Don’t assume that the holiday season will only be filled with challenges. The holiday season can be a special reminder of the gift of hope - even as this time of year may be filled with extra sadness. Peace, joy and hope may pleasantly surprise you in ways you don’t expect.
