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Relationships

2010-05-01 14:25:00

Being pro-active in finding your love

Hardly a day goes by that someone doesnft ask me. "How do I meet a good man? How do I meet a terrific lady? Do you know anyone?

Though I enjoy bringing people together, there are not enough singles in my network to satisfy demand. There is only one winning formula; the more people you meet the greater your possibility to find the ONE. Today we are busier, work longer, marry later, have less time for community, church or other social activities; however, digital dating has made it possible to meet many more people in much less time.

On line connecting may lack some of the old fashioned charm of personal introductions; the process is more mechanical and more risky. Fibbing, posting noncurrent pictures or misleading information happens a lot. So caution is necessary every step of the way from the first e-mail to the first actual encounter. Learn as much as you can about your date before getting together. Do they work where they say, search on Google, read information carefully. Does it add up?

Millions of successful results prove the effort is worth it. A "Behavioral Study" commissioned by Match.com, the largest dating site, shows that "One in five new relationships and one in six new marriages are now between people who met through an online dating site. Introductions made through work/school 36%,

family/friends 26%. On line intros 17% are the third most effective way to meet. The study also documents that using Match.com led to about twice as many dates, relationships and marriages as its closest competitor.

Seekers under 30 are the most active daters, but the largest growing group is the over-fifty crowd: 51% are 30 to 49 years old, 20% are over 50. Of all Match daters 56% are male, 44% are female. 79% of all have some college or college degree. On average, about 3 million active Match daters are looking to find that one and only and 20,000 new US singles register with Match daily. This includes paying customers and non-paying lookers who posted their profiles for free.

All major dating organizations are far more aggressive today in helping you to find your mate. In the past you had to do all the work browsing their database. Now, as soon as you post your profile, you can browse and find your desirables. You can "wink" for free, but if you wish to contact them via letter you first need to buy your service contract. Match.com and other dating sites like JDate now send you daily new "potential candidates" straight to your personal e-mail account, encouraging you to connect with the men and women they present. Additionally they offer membership cruises, social meetings or special activities for members.

The dynamic success of online dating has spawned plenty of competition: There are sites based on religion, age, professional groups, alumni dating sites, even sites for sexual preferences. Usually these specialty services have smaller, more targeted data bases than industry giants like Match.com who partner with MSN and AOL. One golden rule applies to all dating sites; the more you search, the more youfre likely to succeed. Connecting with your dream boat is still a numbers game.

Jacqueline Brandwynne started her Very Private Q&A advice column to help people make their relationships happier and more intimate. The column focuses on dating, relationships, and intimate health. Jacqui also developed doctor recommended Daily Feminine Body Care products for women. Mail a question to Jacqui: 649 Stone Canyon Rd, Los Angeles, CA 90077 or email: contact.veryprivate@gmail.com. For intimacy advice visit www.veryprivate.com