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Diet & Nutrition

2011-10-25 10:53:52

Alternatives

Q: I have a son in grade school who is a victim of bullying. I don’t want him to go through this as it is affecting his self esteem and school performance but I also can’t condone him fighting back. What can we do?

A: An alternative is another way of seeing or doing something. Both adults and kids have forgotten they have alternatives. Their cloudy judgment leaves them feeling stuck, depressed, lonely and victimized. Everyone has seen recent news of kids reacting to the extreme and taking their life because their belief system prevents them from seeing alternatives. Punishing bullies and protecting vulnerable kids is only a surface solution to a deeper problem. The real solution lies in helping both transform their belief system. I was bullied as a kid. Every single day of school from first to ninth grade, the kids called me names. I remember being pushed butt first into a trash can while the kids stood around and laughed, the boys blocking the aisle of the band bus so I had to sit by myself, and being tripped on the way home from school and then made fun of as I picked myself up. I believed I was fat, dumb, and worthless. I listened to a record by Art Linkletter that helped me learn three things; I didn’t have to accept what the kids said as truth, that my worth came from inside, not what other people said, and that pouring positive stuff into my mind helped cement new beliefs. First, you choose what you will accept as truth. Just because someone else says it, even if that someone is a relative, doesn’t make it true. The problem isn’t what’s said, the problem is believing what is said. For example, if someone came up to you and insisted, argued and told you every day that you are Chinese; would you accept it as truth? You might be extremely annoyed, but your self esteem wouldn’t go down, you wouldn’t become depressed, and you sure wouldn’t think about killing yourself, because you’d know it’s untrue. The bullied accept as truth the garbage being thrown at them and let those lies define them. Bullies act out thinking, “When I put someone else down, I show I am worth more. Both have bought in to a belief that told them they weren’t OK. Second, your worth is not dependant on what other people say or think. Your worth is inherent. You are a living, unique human being with unique and wonderful gifts and traits that can’t be taken away no matter what anyone says. Discovering and acknowledging your talent, from being a great listener to inventing new things, is a key in recognizing self worth. Finally, pouring positive, life –giving words into your brain cements self worth. It takes 20 positives to overcome one negative. Mr. Linkletter said “It’s your attitude, not your aptitude that determines your altitude.” I took his words to heart and listened to them over and over. Reading good material, listening to positive audio, and hanging around positive people all help nurture a true belief that you are loveable, worthy and capable. This issue is solvable. The alternative to believing untruths that leave you miserable, is understanding that you have the right to choose what you believe, you are worthy and that you can overcome by pouring positive messages into your mind regularly. These keys represent a good portion of the answer to this very important issue.