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Intimate Apparel

2011-11-17 11:55:04

I’ve got breast cancer – last in series

Q: I’ve just been diagnosed with breast cancer. I’m frightened. I have lots of questions and concerns. If I ever needed a “coach,” I need one now. Can you help me?

A: This is a question I have received dozens of times throughout the years. No matter how many times I have answered it, it is always of so much importance to the person involved. About a year ago, I was asked this question several times in a just a few days. I always wondered whether or not I could remember everything so I would never leave anything out. I was visiting with Charlie Traffas, the editor of this publication, about the same time. He suggested that we do a series of all the things that need to be covered over several months. We did. We began in January of this year, with this opening… “I will do my best. One of the first things I recommend to the many women who I’ve counseled over the years is to treat this much the same as any major task you’ve ever had in your life…that is…to get organized. You are not ready to do this when you’ve first been diagnosed, but you will be. Finding out that you have breast cancer is much the same as experiencing grief and going through what is called the ‘grief cycle.’ You can’t hurry the ‘grief cycle.’ You have to go through each of the four phases. You will know when you’re ready to move on to the next. While you can’t hurry them, knowing what you will be experiencing can be most helpful. The first phase is denial. You cannot believe this is happening to you. It’s supposed to happen to others…not you. The next phase is anger. You are angry at everyone who could have possibly had anything to do with this…your doctor…your oncologist…often times your friends and family. Anyone that you can possibly pin blame on…you do…in your mind. You may very well spend time in both of these first two phases, going back and forth. Before long, you will be ready to move on to the third phase…admission. You will admit to yourself that what has happened is real…it’s not a dream. Once you go through this phase, you will move to the last one…acceptance. Once you are into the acceptance phase…organization plays a most valuable role. Most women, like you, have dozens of questions. Some of these questions might deal with: a second opinion, method of treatment, alternative treatments, radiation, chemotherapy, stigmas, depression and support groups, going out in public, clothes, wigs, bras, swimsuits…and a host of other topics. To know that they all fit in one of five areas is part of the organization that helps you go about handling this challenge. These areas are: Physical, Mental, Social, Spiritual and Material.” Since that time we have taken each area and provided as much information and education as possible. I used a variety of sources for the same including but not limited to doctors, psychiatrists, sociologists, clergy, fashion and a host of sites on the internet. While there could be so much more…I am very pleased with what we have published. All of these articles, like all of their articles over the past many years, are available at www.theqandatimes.com. In addition, because this is such an important subject to so many, I have asked Charlie to provide me with a copy of all of the articles together. If you would like a copy, stop by. I will be happy to give you one free. As I end this series, I want to thank Charlie at The Q & A Times, his staff and all of my sources for all of their help and assistance…and all of the many readers of The Q & A Times and our customers who have sent and called in so many wonderful expressions of thanks.