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Relationships
2012-01-26 11:19:51
Single on Valentine’s
Q: I barely survived New Year’s without a companion, and here I go again having
to face Valentine’s Day solo. I’m getting depressed just thinking about it! What can I do to help?
A: The Valentine rush is on and you can hardly avoid the media love stories, the shops filled wAith cards and gifts and flowers and chocolates – hearts everywhere, infinite suggestions for you to get ready celebrating Valentine with your love. No wonder it’s a hard time for those who have been seeking but not finding the one and only. If you feel there is no love in your life…..maybe there is if you’re willing to change your perceptions? Could you accept an alternate interpretation of what Valentine’s Day should be rather than the classic acceptable version? Could you give yourself permission to experience this love celebration in ways that make you feel part of it rather than alienated?
Yes, it would be wonderful if everyone was involved in a happy, loving relationship. Yet we all know that there are plenty of unhappy couples, married or not, secretly wishing to be single. What’s more, singlehood may be a fabulous state of being if you choose to look at your single life through positive lenses. If you’re willing to change your fixed ideas about love, Valentine’s can be a love fest for you as well, even though you’re one of the millions of singles.
Loving is the most wonderful life energy to give and to get for each of us. Nobody says what kind of love we should celebrate. Nobody relegates how we should love, whom we should love or suggests that loving must follow a particular pattern. Love is not reserved for a single person, it is not regulated to include just one partner and it is not limited to sexual companions or the married set.
And therein lies the magic, every person experiences love in their own way. Love is all around you if you can open your heart and feel it, give it and receive it.
This year let go of thinking of yourself as a Valentine outsider. If you close your eyes right now - how many people can you think of that you love and who love you; your children, your friends, relatives you cherish, even those far away? This Valentine’s let them know that their love is precious to you. This Valentine’s; feel included in spreading the sentiments of loving rather than feeling sorry for yourself. Why not celebrate Valentine together with your single friends? Do something loving. Spend a day with a child that hungers for love. Go to the local hospital and hold a baby without parents so it can feel your love.
Make a new love effort by joining a group that shares your likes, be it hiking, reading, photography or becoming a member of a dating site to break the solo pattern. Finding a love partner is a numbers game. Unless you give yourself the opportunity to meet new love prospects, it won’t happen. The effort is up to you.
Remember this, there are no boundaries to loving, only your perceptions can limit you from sharing this life affirming energy and feeling.
Wishing you a Happy Valentine’s Day!
