 | Lisa Vermillion is President and co-owner of Get Fit Bee Fit and Thin and Healthy Weight Management. Lisa opened Get Fit- 4 years ago in Valley Center, after receiving certifications thorough the American Council on Exercise as a Weight and Lifestyle Management Consultant and Certified Personal Trainer. In January, she Grand Opened Thin and Healthy Weight Management in the same location. Lisa not only provides weight loss programs for individuals but she also implements business wellness programs for small businesses and large corporations. Additionally, Lisa is a Certified Life Coach providing guidance for individuals in the areas of career, relationship and personal development. She is available for speaking engagements in the areas of Physical Fitness, Weight Management, or any Life Coaching area (goal setting, positive attitude, sales, etc). Lisa can be reached for questions or speaking engagements by phone (316) 755-1115 or email at mvmillion@yahoo.com |
Diet & Nutrition
2012-08-01 14:24:14
Changing beliefs an answer to bullying?
Q- Bullying seems to be a rising concern among school students. What can be done to protect our kids from such occurrences and on the other side, what if your kid is the bully?
A- Both adults and kids have forgotten they have alternatives. Their cloudy judgment leaves them feeling stuck, depressed, lonely, and victimized. Everyone’s seen recent news, kids reacting to the extreme and taking their life because their belief system prevents them from seeing alternatives. Punishing bullies and protecting vulnerable kids is only a surface solution to a deeper problem. The real solution lies in helping both transform their belief system.
I was bullied as a kid. Every single day of school from first to ninth grade, the kids called me names. I remember being pushed butt first into a trash can while the kids stood around and laughed, the boys blocking the aisle of the band bus so I had to sit by myself, and being tripped on the way home from school and then made fun of as I picked myself up. I believed I was fat, dumb, and worthless. I listened to a record by Art Linkletter that helped me learn three things; I didn’t have to accept what the kids said as truth, that my worth came from inside, not what other people said, and that pouring positive stuff into my mind helped cement new beliefs.
First, you choose what you will accept as truth. Just because someone else says it, even if that someone is a relative, doesn’t make it true. The problem isn’t what’s said, the problem is believing what’s said. For example, if someone came up to you and insisted, argued and told you every day that you are Chinese; would you accept it as truth? You might be extremely annoyed, but your self esteem wouldn’t go down, you wouldn’t become depressed, and you sure wouldn’t think about killing yourself, because you’d know it’s untrue. The bullied accept as truth the garbage being thrown at them and let those lies define them. Bullies act out thinking, “When I put someone else down, I show I am worth more. Both have bought in to a belief that told them they weren’t OK.
Second, your worth is not dependant on what other people say or think. Your worth is inherent. You are a living, unique human being with unique and wonderful gifts and traits that can’t be taken away no matter what anyone says. Discovering and acknowledging your talent, from being a great listener to inventing new things, is a key in recognizing self worth.
Finally, pouring positive, life –giving words into your brain cements self worth. It takes 20 positives to overcome one negative. Mr. Linkletter said “It’s your attitude, not your aptitude that determines your altitude.” I took his words to heart and listened to them over and over. Reading good material, listening to positive audio, and hanging around positive people all help nurture a true belief that you are loveable, worthy, and capable.
I spent part of this last school year working with a group of girls that had been bullied. Our work together helped them develop a strong sense of self –worth and helped them overcome being bullied. Our time together showed me this issue is solvable. The alternative to believing untruths that leave you miserable, is understanding that you have the right to choose what you believe, you are worthy, and that you can overcome by pouring positive messages into your mind regularly. These keys represent a good portion of the answer to this very important issue.
As a side note, I have space for a few teens in our confidential Facebook group. I share a short video each week and then we discuss it in the group. It’s a safe way for kids to build their self-esteem so they’ll feel confident beginning the next school year. Contact me at thkansas@yahoo.com or by phone at 316-755-1115 for more info. We have a similar adult group as well.
