 | Jennifer Schooley is the Co-Director of Vie Medical Clinic located at 613 N. Broadway, Suite C in Pittsburg. For more information or to reach Jennifer please call 620-235-0608
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Health & Wellness
2013-06-25 09:12:16
How do I say no?
Q-I want to wait until I’m married to have sex, but the say “yes” to sex message is everywhere. What’s the best way to say “no”?
A-Good for you! Abstinence (waiting until marriage before having sex) may not seem to be the easiest path to take, but it’s the one you will never regret.
Saying “No” to sexual involvement starts with you making important decisions about your life. No one can do it for you. When you decide to be abstinent, it has to be your choice.
So what does it take to be abstinent? Everyone is tempted to have sex before marriage. Anywhere guys and girls are together, the opportunity will come up. If you’ve decided to be abstinent, think things through before you get into a compromising situation. Be ready to defend yourself, or even take the offensive if you have to. In short, learn when and how to say “No.”
First, the basics: Controlling your situation is half the battle. Always know about the other person that you’re attracted to. Don’t choose a “player” if you’re trying to say “No” to what players do best.
If you’re a girl, dress like you expect to be treated with respect. Guys are stimulated by what they see. The way you dress sends a strong message, so be sure it’s the one you want to send.
Set your limits in advance. If you don’t know where you intend to stop, you probably won’t. How do you know you’ve crossed the line if you haven’t drawn a line in the first place? Basically, touching and caressing anything below the neck is asking for more involvement.
The brain is powerful. So do yourself a favor and avoid those situations that keep it from being in control.
ALCOHOL - Drinking impairs your judgment. In fact, most date rape incidents involve alcohol. Unless you’re 21 or older, it’s against the law for you to consume alcohol.
DRUGS - Drugs seriously mess with your mind. Don’t even think about messing with them. Not even once – “just to try it.”
EXHAUSTION - When you’re tired, it’s hard to think straight. So don’t put yourself in a situation where you have to make a tough choice late at night.
EMOTIONS - Be aware of what’s going through your head. If you just broke up with someone or something bad is going on in your life, watch that you don’t try to ease the pain with something that’s going to hurt you even more.
ISOLATION – You’re a lot less likely to lose control if you’re around others, especially adults. Take the pressure off by double dating, hanging out with groups of people and respecting your parents’ restrictions. Know where you’ll be, what you’ll do and when you’ll return.
Choosing to be abstinent means no risk now, no regret later. This is your life we’re talking about. Say “No” your way. Just make sure you say it.
