 | Bob Phifer
Cochran Mortuary President, and his wife Terri Cochran Phifer have proudly served Wichita families since 1980. The company has been family owned and operated since 1928, spanning five generations. You may contact Bob at (316) 262-4422. |
Final Arrangements
2003-07-01 16:09:00
Make your wishes known
: What happens if I don't leave written instructions about my preferences for final arrangements? What details should be included if I was to write a document?
ANSWER: Making one's wishes known concerning final funeral arrangements is important to help assure you that those wishes are followed. More important, however, is the manner in which you provide these instructions. An oddity in state statutes as they stand today concerning just who has ultimate authority to provide authorization and direction for final arrangements is basically based upon "Old English Law"; that is, at death our body becomes property of our next of kin. Because of this, pre-planning for final arrangements needs to be done correctly and in concert with your family or with a properly executed "Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care Decisions" with authority to direct disposition of the body. This means that without the properly executed Durable Power of Attorney, which appoints a specific person to provide authorization, your family has ultimate control over providing final instructions. This authority is decreasing in the order of lineage as defined by statute. The spouse has primary authority, followed by all children, all grandchildren, parents, all brothers or sisters, etc. Essentially, because of this, even if we have on our own, pre-planned and pre-paid for final expenses, there is no absolute guarantee that those plans will be followed. If for example, our spouse disagrees and there is no Power of Attorney executed giving this authority to someone else. This can become especially complicated when a spouse may have previously died and several children that survive cannot come to mutual agreement with final arrangements. Some people have mentioned that their wishes are outlined in a will. A will is the worst instrument in which to provide final arrangement requests. The will is not a valid legal document until probated, and as you are probably aware of, probate in some instances, can take a great amount of time. When preplanning or prepaying funeral arrangements, I always recommend the entire immediate family be involved. Many times I have had someone individually inquire about final arrangements after learning of a dire health prognosis, the purpose of which is to "save my wife from having to make these decisions". The fallacy of this, of course, is as mentioned before, the spouse will at sometime have to make these decisions anyway. Strangely enough, these statutes also apply to the process of organ donation at death. For example, "checking" the donor consent on our driver's license does not guarantee our desire to allow organ retrieval after death. Our next of kin will be required to authorize the donation, before any procedure would be initiated. Currently in the state legislature there are some measures being considered, that will by statute, provide an individual with greater authority and assurance that one's wishes after death will be followed. As to when or if this will eventually transpire is anyone's guess. Until then, follow the methods previously mentioned. With all this in mind, if you are leaving instructions as to your funeral plans, you may want to think about whether you seek a simple service or one that is very detailed, whether it is to be a graveside service only or whether you want a service at a church or a mortuary chapel, do you desire cremation? You might want to include specific poems or scripture, music preferences, flowers and other details, Keep in mind that your family will want to have input whether they want to talk to you about this or not. Call a family owned funeral home. They can provide you, at no obligation, with booklets that will help you and your family get started with the planning process.
