 | Tom Morris
is president of Downing & Lahey Mortuaries and Crematorium. He joined the family business as a funeral director and embalmer in 1986-the fourth generation to do so.
There are two Downing & Lahey locations in Wichita-one on the east side at 6555 E. Central, and another on the west side at 10515 W. Maple. Tom can be reached at his office at (316) 682-4553, by fax at (316) 685-8624, or by e-mail at info@downingandlahey.com. You can also visit Downing & Lahey on the Internet at www.downingandlahey.com |
Final Arrangements
2002-05-01 08:53:00
Getting what you want
: How can I make sure my funeral and burial arrangements are what I want? Does my family have to follow my wishes?
Tom Morris
Question: How can I make sure my funeral and burial arrangements are what I want? Does my family have to follow my wishes?Answer: Unlike planning a party, an anniversary celebration or a wedding where you have weeks or months, a funeral is usually planned in just a few days. But it doesn't have to be.The best way to ensure that the funeral and burial arrangements are what you want is to plan your funeral service and make burial arrangements ahead of time. This is often referred to as "pre-arranging." Funerals can include poems, scripture verses, songs, stories or instrumental music selections, to mention just a few ideas. Music selections, whether vocal or instrumental, can be hymns that were special to you or contemporary pieces that reflect who you were. Stories shared by your loved ones are a special way to bring back fond memories of your life and can help your family reflect. The key to having the funeral the way you want is to plan ahead and let your family know what your wishes are. Take time now to gather those special words and music, and share your ideas with your family and even the funeral home that you plan on using. Put your wishes and ideas in writing and make sure your loved ones know where your file is. You may also want to put a copy on file with the funeral home, but the worst place to put your file is in a safety deposit box. The bank may not be open when the file is needed. But just like a will, your prearranged funeral plan should be reviewed every now and then.Burial arrangements, as mentioned before, can also be made in advance. A cemetery can be chosen based on religious preference, location or because other family members are buried there. Again, the key here is to plan in advance and make your family aware of your choices.There is no law that requires your family members to follow your wishes. But, my experience has shown me that family members are very appreciative when a funeral is preplanned and they know what is wanted. The family will derive comfort in knowing that they are following your wishes.
