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Senior Living

2003-11-01 14:34:00

Getting help for elderly parents

: My elderly parents need help on a regular basis with housekeeping, meal preparation and errands.  I work full time and can barely manage running my own household.  Their needs for assistance are becoming a real stressor for me.  Are services available for families in my situation?

Deborah Levering Question: My elderly parents need help on a regular basis with housekeeping, meal preparation and errands.  I work full time and can barely manage running my own household.  Their needs for assistance are becoming a real stressor for me.  Are services available for families in my situation?Answer:  The number of families dealing with similar circumstances is growing, as the baby boomers reach middle age.  Adult children, even grandchildren, are finding themselves in the position of being a caregiver.  Usually, there is a long gap in time from when the elderly are totally independent and the time they can no longer live in their own homes.  These are the most challenging years for the extended family members.       The demands of working a full time job and managing one's own household are stressful enough.  The added burden of caring for elderly parents can become overwhelming.  It is common for extended family members to reach the breaking point before they ever consider seeking help.  Feelings of guilt and obligation are driving and powerful emotions that play on one's conscience.  It is difficult to admit that being your parent's parent is not what you had bargained for!      There is no shame in seeking alternatives to care for your parents.  Most people just don't know where to begin the search.  Eldercare is a growing industry and there are resources available in most communities.  First, identify the specific areas of daily living that your parents are requiring assistance with.  This will guide you to the type of service provider that you need.    The examples you have listed are limited to activities of daily living.  If housekeeping were the only need, then a bonded cleaning service would be my recommendation. However, you mentioned meal prep and running errands, as well.  Your best option is to contact a non-medical in-home care provider.  I suggest looking in the telephone directory under the listings for Home Health Agencies.  Look for the companies specifically identified as non-medical.     A non-medical in-home care agency can provide tailored services to meet the needs of each client.  For instance, some clients may not need transportation but they need help with housekeeping and assistance with dressing and grooming. Others may need respite care or standby assist when mobile.  Remember that your parent's needs and physical conditions may change.  They may develop a need for safety awareness and medication reminders.  It is best to choose an agency that can assess and meet those changing needs.   Ask to meet with a representative from the company you select.  They will conduct an in-home meeting with your family and help establish a schedule of services that will provide the care your parents need at this time.  Your parents will no longer feel like they are being a burden and you can revert to being your parent's adult child again instead of their caregiver.  You will find peace of mind in knowing that professionals who have been screened, bonded and insured are providing your parent's daily needs.