 | Tom Morris
is president of Downing & Lahey Mortuaries and Crematorium. He joined the family business as a funeral director and embalmer in 1986-the fourth generation to do so.
There are two Downing & Lahey locations in Wichita-one on the east side at 6555 E. Central, and another on the west side at 10515 W. Maple. Tom can be reached at his office at (316) 682-4553, by fax at (316) 685-8624, or by e-mail at info@downingandlahey.com. You can also visit Downing & Lahey on the Internet at www.downingandlahey.com |
Final Arrangements
2001-07-01 12:31:00
What can be done with our ashes after death?
Question: My husband and I recently established a trust. Included in this trust is our will and a place for us to indicate our wishes for our funerals. Both my husband and I have decided upon cremation, but we really don’t know what to say about disposition of the ashes. What are the choices?
Answer: Probably the most common method of disposition of cremains (cremated remains) is ground burial. Urns may be buried in standard cemetery plots. This is often the choice when space has been reserved for the deceased in a family plot. Most cemeteries allow the burial of at least two urns per one adult burial space. A marker or headstone can then be placed at the site to memorialize the death. Many cemeteries now also provide urn gardens for the burial of urns. Another choice is the placement of an urn within a niche in a columbarium. This would be equivalent to placing a casket in a mausoleum crypt. Columbaria are most often located within a cemetery and may be an entire building, a room, or a series of niches along the inside walls. Outdoor settings may include the placement of urns within a garden wall or sculpture. Like ground burial, the use of a niche also allows the placement of a nameplate to identify the urn.Some churches have also developed areas inside and outside their buildings for the placement and burial of urns.Another option to the disposition of ashes is to scatter the cremains. Many cemeteries now offer special areas for this, such as large flower gardens. Some have common graves the ashes can be deposited in. Both can provide a large plaque for the placement of the deceased person's name. In addition to scattering cremains in cemeteries, they can also be deposited anywhere you have the landowner’s permission. Federal law does prohibit this on federal parks or federal waterways. It is also not unusual to hear of ashes being scattered from the air or over water. Although this may appeal to some people, you should consider how your survivors will feel later on. Many people need a specific location to go to for reflection, in addition to a funeral or memorial service.The urn may also be taken home and displayed in a bookcase or on the mantle. This should only be considered a temporary situation, pending a decision regarding the final placement of the cremains. For security as well as peace of mind, the urn should ultimately find a permanent place for memorialization. Cremation does allow ample time for friends and family from miles away to come together weeks or even months later, at which time they can carry out the wishes of the deceased.There are countless ways to store and place cremains. Your first step in making a decision about the disposition of ashes could be to gather family members or significant others who will carry out your wishes. I would encourage you to work this out ahead of time so everyone is comfortable with the decision.
