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Senior Living

2004-01-01 11:40:00

Making living decisions for parents

: Our mother is quickly approaching a need for someone to take care of her. What are some things to consider before deciding whether it makes more sense for the family members to care for her or for a residence specializing in such care to provide the services?

ANSWER:  Take comfort in the fact that many adult children just like you have to make decisions about their parents' living and care needs. These decisions involve a great deal of planning, research and discussion with your loved one. Evaluate the costs and services involved in family care versus residential care. How comprehensive is your mother's insurance coverage? Also consider the emotional impact of both alternatives. Are you and your family prepared for the time and lifestyle changes required in having an aging parent at home? Juggling caregiver duties with your marriage, children and career is worth considering. On the other hand, do your mother's needs exceed what you can provide yourself? If so, an assisted living or continuing care retirement community may be the right choice. Here she can receive all the care she needs and maintain an active and satisfying life. As a caregiver, you will likely need assistance with her care. Research the adult day care, senior centers, home health organizations and transportation services in your community. While some fees may apply for these services, they offer invaluable help with your daily caregiving tasks. You can find this information at your local Area Agency on Aging or on the Eldercare Locator Web site at www.aoa.gov/elderpage/locator.html or call 1-800-677-1116. What about other family members, friends and neighbors? What help can they provide?Outside of your own home, where your mother lives will depend on the amount and type of care she requires. Assisted living residences, adult care homes and senior housing are possibilities - each has a different care level and payment structure. In contrast, continuing care retirement communities accommodate a range of care services in one place so that residents do not have to move if their needs become more advanced. Consider the location, cost, specialized services, social atmosphere, recent survey results, if applicable, and so on. Remember to include your mother in the decision and keep her concerns in mind as you research.Before you decide between family care or residential care, a professional assessment of your mother's health may be in order. Your mother's physician can provide health need insights (with your mother's permission). A geriatric assessment center or case manager can conduct a professional review of her abilities and make suggestions afterward. Your local Department on Aging will know of available services or the National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers is an excellent resource for this service. Visit them online at http://www.caremanager.org/ or call 520-881-8008.Other resources to help in the decision-making process: AARP (http://www.aarp.org/ or 800-922-8716); American Association of Homes and Services for the Aging (http://www.aahsa.org/ or 202-783-2242); National Association for Area Agencies on Aging (http://www.n4a.org/ or 202-296-8130); and ElderWeb (http://www.elderweb.com/). These organizations provide information, lists of services, questions to ask and even how to approach this discussion with your family and your mother.Planning for your mother's immediate and future needs will be time well spent to help you, your mother and your family feel confident you've made the decision in the best interest of your mother's well-being.