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Jacqui Brandwynne
Jacqueline Brandwynne started her Very Private® Q&A advice column to help people make their relationships happier and more intimate. The column focuses on dating, relationships, and intimate health. Jacqui also developed doctor recommended Daily Feminine Body Care products for women. For a free sample of the Very Private® Intimate Moisture product call (888) 837-9774. Mail a question to Jacqui: PO Box 491341, Los Angeles, CA 90049, or e-mail: info@veryprivate.com. For intimacy advice and to listen to Jacqui's radio show every Wednesdays visit www.veryprivate.com
Relationships
2002-04-01 12:14:00
Turf Issues: Old friends vs. a new partner
Answer: Each of your friends has established a bond with you and invested a great many feelings in your relationship. Suddenly they realize that this is about to change. Their reactions are directly tied to how they deal with change. Many people fear it, afraid of loosing your love, your friendship, and your availability. Some welcome it and see it as a new opportunity. Others have a cautious wait and see attitude. Don't force the issue. You cannot expect all your old friends to embrace your new partner or your new man to like each of them.  As you meet his friends you too may have mixed reactions. Your male friends specifically may experience some competitive feelings. Somebody new has taken the place of "most important" in your life.  In many cases initial adversity can turn into real friendships. You can help the process by having a good conversation with each of your friends.  They need to understand clearly how you feel about your new man. They also want reassurance that your future relationship will continue. Assure them how important they are in your life, even though you now have a new love. It's a wonderful opportunity to thank them for being your friend. Given the opportunity, I bet most of your friends will wish to participate in your new happiness.If it happens that your new man and an old friend don't mesh or if you can't warm up to one of his buddies you both must have tolerance. Neither of you should resent that you wish to continue that relationship on your own. It's okay to have non-couple friends. Being a couple doesn't mean that you have to share everything. Just be sure to talk about it openly so it doesn't become a divisive issue. Your individuality is what attracted you to each other. You can be yourself and be a couple. It can be the most enriching and enlarging experience -- in love, friendship and life.
 
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