 | Lisa Vermillion is President and co-owner of Get Fit Bee Fit and Thin and Healthy Weight Management. Lisa opened Get Fit- 4 years ago in Valley Center, after receiving certifications thorough the American Council on Exercise as a Weight and Lifestyle Management Consultant and Certified Personal Trainer. In January, she Grand Opened Thin and Healthy Weight Management in the same location. Lisa not only provides weight loss programs for individuals but she also implements business wellness programs for small businesses and large corporations. Additionally, Lisa is a Certified Life Coach providing guidance for individuals in the areas of career, relationship and personal development. She is available for speaking engagements in the areas of Physical Fitness, Weight Management, or any Life Coaching area (goal setting, positive attitude, sales, etc). Lisa can be reached for questions or speaking engagements by phone (316) 755-1115 or email at mvmillion@yahoo.com |
Diet & Nutrition
2007-07-01 12:34:00
Running for food to cope
Answer: Difficult people are everywhere, in families, in the work place, and in social settings. We know we can do nothing to change the other person; our only alternative is to change our reactions. Although this is not a simple task, it can be done. Focusing on the positive in the person, choosing a different reaction, and finding alternative escapes when necessary can help you survive and perhaps even enjoy yourself. In life situations and in relationships, you get more of whatever you focus on. For example, if you focus on negative situations during the day, you will find yourself surrounded by negative situations. Have you ever had a day that seemed to go from bad to worse? That happens if you focus on the negative things around you. However, if you look for the positive in situations, you’ll find yourself surrounded by positive. The same idea is true with people. If you choose to focus on a person’s negative behavior, you’ll most likely see that behavior reoccurring. The opposite is also true, focus on the positive and you’re likely to evoke more positive behavior. (Obviously, I’m not referring to extreme cases such as abuse). One exercise you can do to practice this skill is to write down 5-10 positive things about the person. Really concentrate on some positive quality. It can be as simple as an attractive hairstyle or a talent for something. Read these statements daily; put them where you can see them, focus on the positive. In time, you will find yourself reacting much differently and you may see the person change their behavior as well.
Second, it is important to realize that you have a choice about how you react to that person. You must take responsibility for your reactions. If you get angry at your boss, you are the one who chooses anger. This is a hard one, because it is natural, and much easier to blame others for our reactions. However, when you are faced with a negative situation you can choose a different response. Brainstorm alternative responses. For example, if you get angry when your father-in law claims he’s right about something you could reply with, “That’s one way of looking at it”. You could simply smile sweetly and ignore it, considering the source. You could seek to understand why your father-in –law feels he needs to always be right, your husband or mother-in-law may be good sources of this information. Whatever you decide, practice it, and use it when the opportunity arises.
Finally, you can give yourself permission to take a break from the situation. Taking a brisk walk, deep breathing, or journaling can be helpful tools, if you feel yourself loosing your cool. You can politely excuse yourself in any situation and regain your composure.
It is almost certain that negative people will show up somewhere in your life. It is also certain that you are responsible for your responses to these people. By focusing on the positive in a person, choosing different responses, and giving yourself permission to take a break, you can deal with any body, any time, any where.
