 | Shelly Lunsford is the facility director at The Homestead Assisted Living Residence in Wichita. She lives in Medicine Lodge and received her nursing degree from Pratt Community College. She spent five years working at Wesley Medical Center in the cardiac field prior to taking a leap of faith and jumping into the long term care of assisted living. From the moment she entered the doors at The Homestead, Shelly knew that it was the place for her. From a nursing point of view, this type of position allows her to utilize all her nursing skills, assessing not only the physical, but the mental, emotional and spiritual needs as well. The greatest reward for Shelly is to feel the love and compassion generated between residents and staff. It truly is a home-like atmosphere filled with family. Shelly can be reached at (316) 729-2400 or you may visit the facility at 12221 W. Maple, in Wichita. |
Senior Living
2008-02-01 10:12:00
Helping elderly parents recognize they need help
Answer: First of all, let me begin by saying that you are not alone. Many families have come to me with the same scenario. It is very difficult for anyone to give up their home and their life as they know it. Change is not easy for most of us. Perhaps your mother is also fearful that she will be giving up her independence as well. Fear of being accepted by the other residents is another concern for many. Whenever we admit a new resident, I try to remember how scared I was my first day of high school. It is the fear of the unknown that typically scares us. Those are undoubtedly some of the same feelings your mother is experiencing too.
Assisted livings are the answer for many because they are able to give as much or as little assistance as needed, yet still allow residents to maintain their independence.
Residents furnish their apartments with their personal belongings; continue seeing their own primary care physicians and family and friends visit, just as before. The added benefits of choosing the right assisted living is that you will have peace of mind knowing that your mother has twenty four hour assistance, if needed. In addition, she will be assessed by a competent nursing staff that will alert both you and her physician if any changes in her medical condition should arise. One of the greatest benefits that I see in facilities is the socialization aspect. You have seniors who spend most of their day watching television and never interact with other people. Then when they come to assisted living, they start participating in activities, dining with other seniors, forming new relationships, and their outlook on life takes on a new meaning.
Placing a loved one in a facility is an agonizing decision. However, it is also one of the most courageous and selflessness acts that you can do for a loved one needing more assistance with the activities of daily living.
Making the decision to move your mother into an assisted living is actually the easy part. Choosing the right assisted living takes time and effort.
My suggestion would be to start out by bringing in brochures and information about assisted livings in your area. Perhaps your primary care physician or minister would also assist you in approaching this subject. There is strength in numbers.
You could start by touring assisted livings with your mother. Call ahead and ask to share a meal with the residents and staff. Watch and see how your mother reacts to the different facilities. Is the staff friendly and helpful? Is the Administrator or Director available to answer any questions? Is there a beauty shop in the facility? What activities are offered? Talk to the other residents. Ask them if they are happy living there.
If your mother still refuses to move and her safety is of concern, then I would try a compromise. Ask her if she would be willing to “try out” an assisted living on a trial basis. Many assisted livings also have furnished apartments available with short term stay rates.
Good luck in finding the best assisted living that meets your mother’s needs.
