 | Jacqueline Brandwynne started her Very Private® Q&A advice column to help people make their relationships happier and more intimate. The column focuses on dating, relationships, and intimate health. Jacqui also developed doctor recommended Daily Feminine Body Care products for women. For a free sample of the Very Private® Intimate Moisture product call (888) 837-9774. Mail a question to Jacqui: PO Box 491341, Los Angeles, CA 90049, or e-mail: info@veryprivate.com. For intimacy advice and to listen to Jacqui's radio show every Wednesdays visit www.veryprivate.com |
Relationships
2001-12-01 13:57:00
Ready to make a life commitment
Answer: Fear feeds on fear. By keeping our fears inside they become more disturbing. The only way to stop the emotional torment is to confront our fears before they undermine our lives. The first step is to ask, "what is the worst that could happen by expressing the feelings that cause my fears?"
What could happen to Robert who fears to ask the woman he loves for a commitment? She may tell him that she's not ready for marriage or that she is unsure of her feelings and needs more time. Whatever her answer, to know the truth puts Robert in a position to take charge of his life again and make choices, going forward instead of being paralyzed by fear.
What about Jenny who's never been sexually gratified? Has she so little confidence in her husband's love and understanding? The very act of admitting her unhappiness opens the door for building trust and greater intimacy between them. Solving problems, including sexual problems, together often is an enriching experience for both partners. Keeping feelings of disappointment inside will eventually erode even the strongest love.
To Walter who is estranged from his wife I would say divorce is inevitable unless both partners agree to confront their fears and start building a bridge to each other. Don't regurgitate the negatives that have accumulated. Don't look to winning arguments. Winning doesn't work in a healthy relationship. Constructing a new life together does. Co-create a list 'how to being loving to each other'. Read your program daily. Hug and kiss each morning and night. Feel your connection.
Fear is negative energy. The best antidote to free ourselves of negativity is being productive in our lives, being loving and supportive starting with the people closest to us. That's how we can turn negative fear into positive energy of love.
