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Relationships

2011-12-27 09:15:42

Great sex at any age!

A: The need for closeness and intimacy has no age barrier. Yet many people worry about sexuality as they age or even withdraw from sexual activity. Avoiding sex is often due to a particular health conditions. Psychological stress due to financial or family problems is a frequent cause of sexual abstinence. Many of the medications to cope with depression and other health issues have a negative effect on libido such as anti-depressants. If that happens, your health professional can help you find an alternate solution. Embarrassment is another big reason why maturing partners refrain from sex. Having put on too many extra pounds, showing wrinkled skin or other body blemishes – such worries stop many from having joyful sex. Are they still sexually attractive, or worse, being able to perform? The good news is, most of these problems can be overcome with a proactive attitude. In fact, this can be the perfect time of life to rekindle and re-energize a sexual and emotional relationship. Mature people generally have greater confidence. They know what works for them sexually and otherwise. The kids are gone, work pressures are reduced or eliminated, there’s more time to do and to be. So what does it take to push the restart button? Number one is an open mind. Express your belief that it is possible to change. Invite your partner to commit to a new life improvement plan. Make changes for a healthier life; daily walks or exercise, a better diet, attending lectures or adult classes, exploring new sexual activities. Number two, is good and honest communication. You finally have the time to be in each other’s life. Take time to talk, every day, and rediscover each other. Engage in issues you’ve never dared to touch such as frank sexual discussions. Abandon the tried and true for the adventure of the new. Switch sides in bed. Don’t wait till bedtime for sexual activity. Morning love, when you have more energy, could be just the right time for intimacy. Try new sexual positions that may be more comfortable. Sex is about giving each other pleasure, this may be the time for oral or manual sex, which may be as exciting and fulfilling as intercourse. Admit what sends you over the moon. Be specific, show where and how you want to be touched, kissed and stroked. It’s now or never, and there are plenty of books and videos on sexuality to give you guidance. Number three is forgive and forget. There isn’t a single relationship, married or not, that hasn’t had small and big run-ins. These past hurts have a way to accumulate and numb your feelings. Let go of the emotional negatives you’ve buried. Why remain distant and alienated when you could be close and loving? It’s time to push the delete button. No more grievances, no more “you always” accusations. Have the generosity, the turn of heart to forgive and forget. This is a New Year – you deserve a new start. Recapture your relationship; revitalize your sexual life to regain your happiness. You can do it!