 | Kevin Knaup received his Kansas Adult Care Home Administrator's license in 1983 and is the Administrator and part owner of Sunset Manor, Inc. in Frontenac, KS. He has been employed at Sunset Manor for 31 years. He is a member of Kansas Health Care Association and Kansas Adult Care Executives. He has served on various local and state committees for education and training in the Adult Care home field. |
Senior Living
2012-08-02 12:29:19
How can I adapt to becoming a spousal caregiver?
A- First, I want to express my concern for you both. This is a hard time, I realize, and I commend you for reaching out to the community.
Following practical steps is very helpful in getting things to a better place when you feel stalled and immobile, as you described. Here are some things you can do to put things in a better place.
First, live out some of your dreams sooner, rather than later. The time you have now is very valuable in making wonderful memories. Also having fun is helpful in managing stress. While you may not feel like getting out, traveling is rejuvenating and can help fortify you for the days ahead.
Another productive step you can take now is to work as a team to get organized. Get all of your affairs and paperwork in order together, and do not let the task hand over you casting a gloom. The sooner you get this job done, the sooner you can enjoy your time together.
Engage with family and friends. This is not the time to close your life off from everyone. Plan meaningful gatherings and give your husband the platform to connect with those he loves, and they with him.
Another helpful tip is to allow for changing roles. While there may be some temptation to take the reigns and get things in order, unless that is the role you have always held, your husband may not be ready for that shift just yet. Your husband is a valuable partner, and continues to be so it is important he fulfill his role for as long as he is able.
Join a support group and enjoy the shared knowledge of those who know the ropes. Let family and friends know that you value their help and could use their emotional and practical support.
Begin a new hobby that will connect you to a group of people outside of the couple relationship. One of the things that many people talk about as being difficult is battling feeling alone and changes in friendship dynamics.
Finally, do what you can and do not feel guilty about what you cannot. Your husband loves you and understands that everyone has limitations. Enlist the help of service providers for caregiver respites and for additional duties as you need them.
If you need someone to or help understanding options and services available to your husband, feel free to drop by. We are always ready to help.
