 | Marilyn Cook, LSCSW, is currently the Executive Director of COMCARE of Sedgwick County, the largest mental health center in Kansas and the licensed community mental health center for Sedgwick County. Locally, she serves on the Sedgwick County Criminal Justice Coordinating Council and as vice chair of Sedgwick County’s Child Advocacy Center board. Marilyn has been working in the community as an advocate for social services and mental health for 30 years. If you would like to talk to a professional confidentially, help is available by calling 316-660-7540. COMCARE is the licensed Community Mental Health Center and Certified Substance Use Center in Wichita and Sedgwick County serving children, adolescents and adults. |
Mental Health
2012-11-19 09:58:49
Recipe for successful holiday
A-
-20 pounds of Lowered Expectations
-8 ounces of Fortitude
-3 slices of Time
-1 Vacation Day
-Sprinkling of Extra Hands
Many of us are into the whole Food Network experience. We watch talented chefs prepare delightful meals with ease. Sometimes when we go to repeat what we’ve seen in our kitchen the results are nowhere near as elegant. Well, it’s like that with holidays too. We wonder where we went wrong and try to figure out how we can do better next time.
Which of us has not made a promise to ourselves to start earlier, to cut down on our shopping, to get the cards out earlier than last year, to hold our tongue when Aunt Mary goes on a rant, and to take more time to really enjoy the season?
We are approaching that time of year again with a holiday season that begins with preparation for that special Christmas feast that stretches into a mad dash that culminates in a new year. We have all been exposed to the advice and wisdom from various articles on how to reduce our holiday stress but many of us don’t really act on what we know is in our best interest when it comes to this busy time of year.
It really all comes down to making choices and carefully following the ingredients in the recipe provided.
Step One:
Take your expectations from all of the movies you have seen, the stories you have heard and the ideas you have obtained from holiday books about the “perfect” holiday, and carefully press on them until you have reduced them into something that is really manageable. This is the hardest part of the recipe and the one that takes the longest but if done properly, will make the biggest difference in the end result.
Step Two:
Take a deep breath and make a decision right here, right now that you’re going to be true to yourself this year and to say no to some of the events and parties and gatherings that aren’t really of interest to you. Decide what activities will add value and comfort to you during the holidays rather than those you feel obligated to attend. Having the fortitude to say no when you need to is freeing and shouldn’t be a luxury, it needs to be a staple in this recipe. Boiling over with frustration and anger about being pressed to do one more thing will make this recipe for success flop for certain.
Step Three:
OK, here is another step that won’t come easily or automatically. Take three slices of time out for yourself to do something that is relaxing to you. Yes, that’s right; I’m actually suggesting that you decide to take time during this busiest time of year to make time for yourself. It doesn’t have to be a big thing or an expensive thing to do. Select something you know will slow you down and give you a chance to catch your breath. You will need to carefully time this part of the recipe so that you can maintain your energy level thoughout the season.
Step Four:
Take a vacation day and get all of your shopping done. Period. Shopping online or buying gift cards is a perfectly acceptable way to give gifts that loved ones will enjoy and avoid the crowded stores, sore feet and busy traffic. If you work Monday through Friday, add this day to a weekend so that you actually have a three day span of time to shop and wrap at a more leisurely pace.
And Finally:
Sprinkle all of this with the understanding that your friends and family have a set of hands too. Find ways to include them in the preparation and cleanup so that you’re not a one-person act. You can do this in creative ways. For instance, put small slips of paper with a variety of tasks on them and stuff the papers into ornaments. Hand these to guests and family who come to celebrate. Tasks can include setting the table, taking out the trash, clearing the table. Some can even be a free pass to get out of helping. What a relief to you and fun for those around you, especially those who get out of helping without the guilt.
This year decide that your holiday isn’t going to be half baked or overdone. It’s all up to you. Sounds delicious. I can taste it already.
