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Jacqui Brandwynne
Jacqueline Brandwynne started her Very Private® Q&A advice column to help people make their relationships happier and more intimate. The column focuses on dating, relationships, and intimate health. Jacqui also developed doctor recommended Daily Feminine Body Care products for women. For a free sample of the Very Private® Intimate Moisture product call (888) 837-9774. Mail a question to Jacqui: PO Box 491341, Los Angeles, CA 90049, or e-mail: info@veryprivate.com. For intimacy advice and to listen to Jacqui's radio show every Wednesdays visit www.veryprivate.com
Relationships
2013-05-29 10:51:56
Letting go is the key to regain inner peace
A-Jane, a friend of mine admitted with tears in her eyes that having to move from a large home to a far smaller apartment caused her near panic. Her husband, a decisive task master, insisted to get rid of all those useless belongings that they had stored for years in their garage and attic; hundreds of boxes with letters, mementos, clothes, sports equipment, dishes and knick knacks from her Mom, his Mom and various aunts. George was a young successful lawyer. One day, seemingly out of the blue, he quit his job to follow his passion; a musical career. He convinced his wife to go back to work fulltime and leave their 3-year old at a local daycare. Meanwhile he enrolled in expensive lessons. Soon money worries started. He ignored them and spent hours daily with his famous tutor and practicing. Years slipped by. His life’s ambition to join a famous orchestra became all consuming. Though he was rejected repeatedly and cautioned that he lacked the ability and artistry to qualify him for such a position, he ignored everyone and was immune to his wife’s plea for help. Out of money and hope, his wife and their child found refuge at her parents’ home. Marie-Lou, an attractive lady in her mid fifties, was consumed daily thinking about the break-up of a love relationship that plunged her into a deep depression. Ten years later she was still faulting herself for his leaving, convinced it was caused by her constant suspicion, accusations, even spying on him, due to her inability to trust. Unable to let go of the past, she never connected with a new partner. One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go. Letting go really means coming to terms with many complex emotions that are connected to people, experiences, often trigged by evidence such as memos and objects of our lives, reminding us of both happy and hurtful events that we store in our hearts. Letting go is difficult because it challenges us to let go of unrealistic expectations, memories that we are fearful to release and patterns that may be self destructive. We all have emotional connections to our past, some clear and joyful, others are mysterious, not to be touched. However, when past memories and fears inhibit us to lead a positive, happy life, as seems to be the case with Jane, George and Marie-Lou, questioning one’s self denial is the way forward. Why do we feel compelled to hold on to things and thoughts that stop us from changing and fill us with dread? Why can’t we let go of either physical or emotional baggage? The life we lived can never be wiped out, but we can question ourselves and right our feelings about the past. We can let go of hurtful, negative sentiments or unrealistic expectations. We can toss heaps of physical and emotional remnants that weigh us down. When we do, a sense of lightness, even happiness may fill us and a new zest for life ahead. When the shackles of our past lives are gone what remains are the precious memories we want to keep in our hearts.
 
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