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Mental Health

Jason Scheck

2013-05-29 09:14:05

Q-My daughter recently lost a classmate to suicide. Even though she wasn’t a best friend to this person, they did share two classes together. My daughter talks about not recognizing that the student was in trouble. What should classmates and parents be looking for as possible threats of teen suicide?

A-Suicides among young people continue to be a serious problem. Each year in the United States, thousands of teenagers die by suicide. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15 to 24 year olds, and the sixth leading cause of death for 5 to 14 year olds. According to experts, causes of suicidal distress can be caused by psychological, environmental and social factors. Mental illness is the leading risk factor for suicide. According to a 2004 report distributed by the National Institute of Mental Health, research shows that risk factors for suicide include depression and other mental disorders, and substance use disorders. More than 90 percent of people who die by suicide have these risk factors. Suicide risk factors vary with age, gender, ethnic group, family dynamics and stressful life events. The risk for teen suicide frequently occurs in combination with external circumstances that seem to overwhelm at-risk teens that are unable to cope with the challenges of adolescence. Examples of stressors are disciplinary problems, interpersonal losses, break ups with girlfriends or boyfriends, family violence, sexual orientation confusion, physical and sexual abuse, and being the victim of bullying. Adolescents who complete suicide often talk about it or give warning signs prior to the act. It is important to take the warning signs of teen suicide seriously and to seek help immediately if you think that a teenager might be suicidal. Intervention efforts for at-risk youth can put them in contact with mental health services that can save their lives. Here are some of the warning signs to look for: • Disinterest in favorite extracurricular activities • Substance abuse, including alcohol and drugs (illegal and legal) • Behavioral problems • Withdrawing from family and friends • Sleep changes and changes in eating habits • Hygiene changes and other matters of personal appearance • Emotional distress expressed by physical complaints (aches, fatigue, migraines) • Hard time concentrating and paying attention • Loss of interest in schoolwork or declining grades in school • Risk taking behaviors • Complains more frequently of boredom • Does not respond as before to praise If you are concerned about an adolescent who might be exhibiting the risk factors and warning signs, the Sedgwick County Suicide Prevention Hotline and Mental Health Emergency Services provides telephone and walk-in services 24 hours per day, 7 days a week by medical and mental health professionals. Call 316-660-7500. Emphasis is placed on serving individuals experiencing a mental health crisis, particularly those at risk for suicide.

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Mental Health

Marilyn Cook

2013-04-29 13:41:42

Q-A lot of people I know have come to accept living with stress, because it’s there every day. What can we do to better manage and reduce stress in this very fast paced life?

A-If you were to ask a dozen people to define stress, explain what causes their stress, or pinpoint how stress affects them, you would likely get 12 different answers. The reason for this is that there is no definition of stress, because what is stressful for one person may be pleasurable or have little effect on others. We all experience and react to stress differently. Stress is simply a reaction to a stimulus that disturbs our physical or mental thoughts and balance. A stressful event can trigger the "fight-or-flight" response, causing hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol to surge through the body. A little bit of stress, known as "acute stress," can be exciting—it keeps us active and alert. But long-term, or "chronic stress," can have detrimental effects on our health. You may not be able to control all of the stressors in your world, but you can alter your reaction to them. Healthy habits can protect you from the harmful effects of stress. Here are 10 positive, healthy habits you may want to develop: Talk with family and friends. A daily dose of friendship is great medicine. Visit, call or email your friends and family members to share your feelings, hopes and joys. Engage in daily physical activity. Regular physical activity relieves mental and physical tension. Physically active adults have lower risk of depression and loss of mental functioning. Physical activity can be a great source of pleasure, too. Try walking, swimming, biking or dancing every day. Accept change and the things you cannot change. View change as an opportunity for growth. Since growth can't occur without change, look at change as a positive rather than a negative thing. See it as a means of developing personally, improving your circumstances and bettering your life. Remember to laugh. Laughter makes you feel good. Don't be afraid to laugh out loud at a joke, a funny movie or a book, even when you're alone. Give up the bad habits. Too much alcohol, cigarettes or caffeine can increase stress. Replace these with healthy habits. Slow down. Try to "pace" instead of "race." Plan ahead and allow enough time to get the most important things done. Get enough sleep. Try to get six to eight hours of sleep each night. If you can't sleep, take steps to help reduce stress and the things that are interfering with your sleep. Physical activity also may improve the quality of sleep. Get organized. Use "to do" lists to help you focus on your most important tasks. Approach big tasks one step at a time. For example, start by organizing just one part of your life — your car, desk, kitchen, closet, cupboard or drawer. Try not to worry. The world won't end if your grass isn't mowed or your kitchen isn't cleaned. You may need to do these things, but today might not be the right time. Eat well Good nutrition is an effective strategy to take care of your body during stressful times and also helps to relieve stress levels. If you have a lot stress, the best way to deal with it is to take a look at what’s causing your stress and see if there are changes that you could make. Taking steps to manage your stress can have numerous health benefits and help you feel so much better. After trying to work through your stress, if you continue to be overwhelmed, you may want to talk with someone who can help you address the emotions, manage the stress, and help you find ways to change some unhealthy behaviors.

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Mental Health

Lisa Vermillion

2013-04-29 13:18:34

Q-It just seems these days that I wake up to more bad things happening here in the states and around the world. What’s the world coming to and how can I try to remain positive in these times?

A-“What’s the world coming to?” It’s a question I’ve heard A LOT lately. I’m not sure that I have the answer for that other than history repeats itself. Check out history as far back as recorded and you’ll find time and time again where the world was in extreme upheaval. While I have no answer to why bad things happen, I can give you some ideas for coping with unfortunate circumstances. Limiting your time spent saturating yourself with media coverage of current events, finding positive messages to fill your mind and investing some time doing something positive for someone else, will help you manage your emotions surrounding the situation. First, decide exactly how much time you will spend watching and listening to the media. It’s easy to get caught up in CNN (Constantly Negative Network). Yet constantly listening to it, especially when it’s grey outside is a recipe for a bad mood at least and depression at worst. Think about how much time you are spending reading the news, listening to the radio, watching the news, and listening to other people discuss the current catastrophe. While being informed is fine, dwelling on it constantly can be disastrous for your mental and physical health. Decide what is acceptable for you, then turn off the TV, lay down the newspaper, shut off the computer, and walk away from the conversations in order to take care of yourself. Second, find something positive to put in your brain. It takes twenty positives to overcome one negative. Listen to good music, listen to an audio book, or a motivational recording in your car going to and coming home from work. Another way to get some positive energy is to sit down and have some healthy conversation with a family member or friend. I’m not saying go around acting like “It’s no big deal” or “ burying your head in the sand”; I’m saying to keep your mind in a good place you’ll want to put some good stuff in there on purpose. Finally, find something positive you can do. It doesn’t need to have anything to do with the current tragedy, but find something positive you can do in your place, within your ability. Visit someone who is ill, volunteer at a shelter, write an encouraging note to someone, or simply make it your mission to smile at every person you see in your day. Doing something positive will help you focus on the good that can be done instead of the evil that has been done. Unfortunately in this world there will be tragedy. It is part of the world we live in: it does not, however, need to become our constant focus. By planning your time spent absorbing media, purposefully putting positive stuff in your brain, and using your time to focus on doing something good, you’ll find not only are you better off mentally and physically, but the people around you will benefit from your renewed outlook too.

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Mental Health

Lisa Vermillion

2013-03-25 14:09:15

Q-There just seems to be so much stress in the world today. I think there will always be stress, but can you give me some advice on handling it better?

A-Stress. Our world seems stressed beyond its limit at the moment. Recounting all the negative news isn’t necessary because it’s on the front cover of every newspaper and the headlines on every TV news report. Beyond that, normal stresses such as deadlines, activities, and relationships continue weighing in. The question isn’t, “How can I make stress go away”, the question is “How can I handle the stresses I face.” Handling stress involves developing a short term strategy, and asking two important questions: “What can I learn from this?” and “How can I use this situation to prepare for next time?” First, develop short term strategies that will short circuit stress. Many people find, going for a brisk walk brings down their stress level. Taking a “me moment”, doing something you enjoy, reduces stress levels (preferably something besides eating). My favorite tool is simply a piece of paper and pen. Get into a quiet spot, perhaps even play soft music. Simply begin writing down your thoughts. Anything goes. You can throw it in the trash later if you don’t want anyone to see it. Write with your non-dominate hand allowing your subconscious to bring out deep thoughts. Pay no attention to neatness, spelling, or grammar; just write until you’re done. There is something cathartic about getting your thoughts out of your head and onto a piece of paper. The insights you’ll gain and the peace you’ll feel are priceless. Second, ask yourself what can I learn from this less than perfect outcome? Viewing everything as an opportunity is your choice. Lost your job? Is a cranky boss driving you nuts? Are your children giving you fits? Perhaps this is your opportunity to pursue a career better suited to your passions, learn new people skills, learn new parenting techniques, or meet new people in a support group who have been in similar situations. Asking yourself, “What’s the opportunity here?” allows you control of your life rather than letting life control you. Finally, ask yourself “What can I use from this learning opportunity that will prepare me for the next time the same situation comes up. Life is cyclic. It’s likely that whatever you’re handling now, you’ll handle again in the future. Taking a hard look at what caused the stressful situation, recognizing the tell tale signs that signal you’re under stress, and brainstorming ways to thwart stress before it begins allow advance preparation so that stress can’t catch you off guard. Look for the learning opportunity rather than remaining stuck in stress by pouring positive reinforcing materials into your mind consistently so you’re mentally prepared when stress shows up Although stress may show up every day, you choose how you handle it. Picking a short term strategy, viewing stress as a learning opportunity , and using your new found knowledge in your future plans will bring you success even in stressful times.

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Mental Health

Jody Patterson

2013-03-25 13:47:14

Q-My 14 year old nephew was caught for the second time drinking with friends in the home and my sister and her husband just think he is going through a stage. What should parents know about under aged drinking?

A-Whether it’s a stage of adolescence or not, underage drinking and associated problems have profound negative consequences for the under-aged drinkers, their families, their communities and society as a whole. Underage drinking contributes to a wide range of costly health and social problems, including motor vehicle crashes, (the greatest single mortality risk for underage drinkers); suicide; interpersonal violence, unintentional injuries such as burns, falls, and drowning; brain impairment; alcohol dependence; risky sexual activity; academic problems; and alcohol and drug poisoning. Alcohol is a factor in the deaths of approximately 4,700 youths in the U.S. per year, shortening their lives by an average of 60 years. Binge drinking (the consumption of a large amount of alcohol over a relatively short period of time) is the most common underage consumption pattern. High blood alcohol concentrations and impairment levels associated with binge drinking place binge drinkers and those around them at substantially elevated risk for negative consequences. Early initiation to alcohol use increases the risk of a variety of developmental problems during adolescence and problems later in life. Although the peak years of initiation to alcohol are 7th to 11th grade, 10 percent of 9 to 10 year olds have already started drinking and more than one fifth of underage drinkers begin before they are 13 years old. Private residences are the most common setting for youth alcohol consumption. Most underage drinkers reported drinking in either someone else’s home or their own. Research finds that underage drinking parties, where large groups of underage people gather at private residences are high risk settings for binge drinking and associated alcohol problems. Very young drinkers are most likely to obtain alcohol at home from parents, siblings, or alcohol kept in the home. The next most popular drinking locations for youth are more likely at a restaurant, bar, or club; at the park or in a car. Generational transmission (The term frequently used to describe behaviors involving older and younger people even if they are unrelated to one another) has been widely hypothesized as one factor shaping the alcohol consumption patterns of young people. For example children of parents who binge are twice as likely to binge themselves and to meet alcohol-dependence criteria. Whether through genetics, social learning, or cultural values and community norms, researchers have repeatedly found a correlation between youth drinking and the drinking practices of parents. The greatest single mortality risk for underage drinkers is motor vehicle crashes. Mile for mile, teenagers are involved in three times as many fatal crashes as all other drivers. Homicide and suicide follow motor vehicle crashes as the second and third leading causes of death among teenagers. Although it is unclear how many of the deaths are alcohol related, one study estimated that for all ages combined nearly one third of homicides and almost one quarter of suicides were alcohol attributable. Individuals younger than 21 commit 45 percent of rapes, 44 percent of robberies and 37 percent of other assaults, for the population as a whole an estimated 50 percent of violent crime is related to alcohol use by the perpetrator. According to the Surgeon General, (US Department of Health and Human Services 2007) underage drinking plays a significant role in risky sexual behavior, including unwanted, unintended, and unprotected sexual activity, and sex with multiple partners. Such behavior increases the risk of unplanned pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Studies show it is parents who have the most influence over their teen's decision to drink alcohol. Parents who set clear ground rules, have clear expectations, and enforce clear consequences, have the most success preventing underage drinking. Parents can further reinforce these expectations by setting a good example with how they manage their own alcohol consumption. Our youth are too important and the stakes are too high not to change the course of underage drinking. U.S. Department of Health and Human Service

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Mental Health

Lisa Vermillion

2013-03-01 11:23:07

Q-I was visiting with a friend this week who is going through some rough stuff: a recent surgery, an ill relative, and she's getting ready to face chemotherapy. My otherwise over-the-top positive friend was struggling a little to find some courage at this time in her life. Do you have any advice that I could share with her to help her through this rough patch?

A-Here is a simple three-part strategy that I've used over the years that has helped me and others cope when we're faced with the rough stuff life sometimes throws at us. First, find all the positive stuff you can get your hands on — uplifting music, good books and great people. It takes 20 positives to overcome one negative. Immerse yourself on purpose with positive. Perhaps you have a well- intentioned friend that just doesn’t have the word positive in her vocabulary. It’s important for you to know that you have permission to stop Negative Nelly in her tracks when she starts telling you about her aches and pains, or her horror stories about someone in a similar situation. Simply hold up your hand to stop her, let her know you appreciate what she's telling you, but you'd prefer to keep everything around you positive right now. Will her feelings be hurt? Perhaps, but it's OK to take care of you for a moment. Second, look for great quotes or sayings that especially give you encouragement. Write them down in a notebook or journal. The internet is a wealth of quotes, but Bible verses, poems and song lyrics are also great sources. Ask your friends what their favorites are. You don't need to keep all of them, but definitely have a special place you keep the ones that help you. The one I gave my friend was: “If He brings you to it, He'll bring you through it." She plans to use it as her mantra. I also recently found a devotional book called “Jesus Calling”. It’s written from the perspective of Jesus talking directly to the reader. I highly recommend it. Third, use your journal. Writing positive stuff down and never looking at it again probably won't give you strength past a few minutes. Rather, look at your uplifting words daily. Start your morning by reading them first thing, thus setting a positive tone for the entire day. When you're feeling down, grab your journal and read what you've written, keeping some notes regarding how the words affect your outlook. You might not have control over your circumstances, but you have complete control about how you choose to look at them. That choice determines your misery or your peace in the midst of the strife. I saw a quote by Winston Churchill that sums it up, “If you’re going through hell, keep going.” Looking for positives, keeping them in a journal and using them to give you a boost probably won't make the issue go away, but these steps will definitely help you draw up some more strength to keep going.

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Mental Health

Jason Scheck

2013-03-01 11:21:02

Q-I like to gamble, my friends gamble and we go as a group once or twice a month. One of the guys, I have noticed, goes to the ATM a couple of times per night, and usually spends more than the rest of us. My friends and I all work at the same place and the other day, I overheard the guy talking about how hard it has been keeping up with his bills at home. This is not the first time he has made a remark regarding money. He has a wife and two small children and I am beginning to grow concerned. Should I ask him about it?

A: Many people who gamble simply enjoy it as entertainment, recognize that they are likely to lose, and only bet what they can afford. For others, gambling can disrupt their life, straining relationships with family or friends, causing problems at work or leading to financial catastrophe. Problem gamblers struggle with controlling their behavior, even when they know the gambling hurts them or their loved ones. They continue to gamble even when they can’t afford to lose. There are a number of warning signs to look for. Problem gamblers will often talk constantly about gambling, tell only of wins and not losses, lie about when and how much they gamble, and gamble until they have lost all of their money. Financial ruin, increased risk of drug and alcohol dependence, divorce, loss of employment, increased risk of anxiety, depression, and suicide, are just a few of the possible negative impacts of problem gambling. 10 Questions you can ask yourself about your gambling. 1. Have you often gambled longer than you had planned? 2. Have you often gambled until your last dollar was gone? 3. Do thoughts of gambling cause you to lose sleep? 4. Have you used your income or savings to gamble while letting bills go unpaid? 5. Have you made repeated, unsuccessful attempts to stop gambling? 6. Have you broken the law or considered breaking the law to finance your gambling? 7. Have you borrowed money to finance your gambling? 8. Have you felt depressed or suicidal because of your gambling losses? 9. Have you been remorseful after gambling? 10. Have you gambled to get money to meet your financial obligations? When approaching your friend, be patient and focus on conveying empathy rather than immediately changing behavior. Use “I” statements such as “I am worried about you,” rather than “you” statement such as “You are making me worried.” Keep in mind that changing problem gambling habits is not easy. Willpower and self-resolve are not always enough to stop problem gambling. Provide support such as listening and encourage your friend to seek appropriate professional help. If gambling is causing a problem in your life, the life of your loved one, or someone you know, please ask for help. The biggest step in getting treatment is realizing you have a problem with gambling. It takes tremendous strength and courage to own up to this, especially if you have lost a lot of money and strained or broken relationships along the way. Overcoming a gambling addiction or problem is never easy. But recovery is possible if you stick with treatment and seek support.

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Mental Health

Jody Patterson

2013-02-01 10:06:14

Q-As working parents of two young school-age children, it’s a continuous juggling act to spend even a little bit of time each evening as a family. I want to make sure that our children grow up emotionally healthy in today's environment. What can I do to assure that I am raising emotionally healthy children?

A-Raising children presents dozens of challenges every day; whether it’s getting them to eat healthfully, do their homework, or make safe choices. But a good parent must also focus on a child's emotional health. And while dealing with emotions may seem more taxing than the day-to-day challenges of parenting, emotionally healthy children will be more successful at school, work and life in general. Below are a few tips that might help you get through these important years with young children. • Do your best to provide a safe home and community for your child, as well as nutritious meals, regular health check-ups, immunizations and exercise. • Encourage your child to express his or her feelings; respect those feelings. Let your child know that everyone experiences pain, fear, anger and anxiety. Try to learn the source of these feelings. • Help your child express anger positively, without resorting to violence. “Use your words.” • Promote mutual respect and trust. Keep your voice level down even when you don't agree. Keep communication channels open. • Listen to your child. Use words and examples your child can understand. Encourage questions. Express your willingness to talk about any subject. • Provide comfort and assurance. Be honest and focus on the positives. • Look at your own problem-solving and coping skills. Are you setting a good example? Seek help if you are overwhelmed by your child's feelings or behaviors, or if you are unable to control your own frustration or anger. • Set goals based on the child's abilities and interests, not someone else's expectations. • Celebrate accomplishments. • Don't compare your child's abilities to those of other children; appreciate the uniqueness of your child. • Spend time regularly with your child. • Foster your child's independence and self-worth. Help your child deal with life's ups and downs. Show confidence in your child's ability to handle problems and tackle new experiences. • Discipline constructively, fairly and consistently. Discipline is a form of teaching, not physical punishment. All children and families are different; learn what is effective for your child. Show approval for positive behaviors and help your child learn from his or her mistakes • Love unconditionally. Teach the value of apologies, cooperation, patience, forgiveness and consideration for others. Don’t expect to be perfect, parenting is a difficult job. By supporting your child in a positive and encouraging manner, you will arm him or her with a sense of capability that will increase self-esteem, confidence, and a sense of well-being.

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Mental Health

Jody Patterson

2013-01-02 13:49:20

Q-My son is having trouble following directions, playing with others and making and keeping friends. We have been asked to find alternative child care because of his disruptive behavior. What can we do?

A-Over the past several years, a number of studies have shown a rise in behavior problems among preschoolers. Investigators say that these problems include "prolonged tantrums, physical and verbal aggression, disruptive vocal behavior, property destruction, noncompliance, and withdrawal.” At the same time, the study has found that U.S. preschoolers are three times more likely to be expelled from their classrooms than students in grades K-12. Challenging behaviors in young children are one of the strongest predictors of more serious problems as kids grow older, including delinquency, aggression, anti-social behavior, and substance abuse. For this reason, COMCARE Children’s Services developed “Proud of Me”, a therapeutic program for preschool-aged children. COMCARE began its first Proud of Me Program in 2005 and since that time the program has grown to five programs in three different locations that operate in the morning and afternoon. Proud of Me is a therapeutic program for preschool-aged children ages 2-5 who display challenging behaviors at home, in their academic or day-care setting, and in the community. These behaviors are often serious enough that they are limiting to their day-care, pre-school, or other placement options. Some children may find themselves dis-enrolled from other day settings before coming to Proud of Me. Proud of Me uses a highly structured group format founded on the Conscious Discipline model developed by Dr. Becky Bailey. The main function in the Proud of Me setting is to provide children the opportunity to learn and practice positive social, emotional, and behavioral skills. Utilizing a supportive and nurturing environment, children develop and rehearse skills such as assertive communication, conflict resolution, self-control, problem solving and anger management in addition to learning coping and self-regulation tools that will help them to be successful in school, at home, and in the community. The group setting encourages the development of these skills through structured therapeutic interventions and activities and then encourages children to practice their new skill set with their peers all with support and guidance from trained staff. Proud of Me is designed to work in conjunction with academically based preschools. Children generally attend for 12 months, however, length of service and frequency of service per week are both based on each child’s individual needs. Children ages 2 1/2 - 5 years old who have serious social, emotional or behavioral problems that cause serious disruption to family, preschool, childcare or other community relationships may be eligible. Eligibility will be determined by a qualified mental health professional at COMCARE Children’s Services. Children must be residents of Sedgwick County to be considered for admission to PROUD OF ME. No one will be turned away based on inability to pay. COMCARE Children’s Services will work with families to find and access resources. Some methods of payment include private insurance and Medicaid. COMCARE uses a sliding scale fee based on income.

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Mental Health

Marilyn Cook

2012-11-19 09:58:49

Q- Are there things I can do to ensure a successful holiday this year?

A- -20 pounds of Lowered Expectations -8 ounces of Fortitude -3 slices of Time -1 Vacation Day -Sprinkling of Extra Hands Many of us are into the whole Food Network experience. We watch talented chefs prepare delightful meals with ease. Sometimes when we go to repeat what we’ve seen in our kitchen the results are nowhere near as elegant. Well, it’s like that with holidays too. We wonder where we went wrong and try to figure out how we can do better next time. Which of us has not made a promise to ourselves to start earlier, to cut down on our shopping, to get the cards out earlier than last year, to hold our tongue when Aunt Mary goes on a rant, and to take more time to really enjoy the season? We are approaching that time of year again with a holiday season that begins with preparation for that special Christmas feast that stretches into a mad dash that culminates in a new year. We have all been exposed to the advice and wisdom from various articles on how to reduce our holiday stress but many of us don’t really act on what we know is in our best interest when it comes to this busy time of year. It really all comes down to making choices and carefully following the ingredients in the recipe provided. Step One: Take your expectations from all of the movies you have seen, the stories you have heard and the ideas you have obtained from holiday books about the “perfect” holiday, and carefully press on them until you have reduced them into something that is really manageable. This is the hardest part of the recipe and the one that takes the longest but if done properly, will make the biggest difference in the end result. Step Two: Take a deep breath and make a decision right here, right now that you’re going to be true to yourself this year and to say no to some of the events and parties and gatherings that aren’t really of interest to you. Decide what activities will add value and comfort to you during the holidays rather than those you feel obligated to attend. Having the fortitude to say no when you need to is freeing and shouldn’t be a luxury, it needs to be a staple in this recipe. Boiling over with frustration and anger about being pressed to do one more thing will make this recipe for success flop for certain. Step Three: OK, here is another step that won’t come easily or automatically. Take three slices of time out for yourself to do something that is relaxing to you. Yes, that’s right; I’m actually suggesting that you decide to take time during this busiest time of year to make time for yourself. It doesn’t have to be a big thing or an expensive thing to do. Select something you know will slow you down and give you a chance to catch your breath. You will need to carefully time this part of the recipe so that you can maintain your energy level thoughout the season. Step Four: Take a vacation day and get all of your shopping done. Period. Shopping online or buying gift cards is a perfectly acceptable way to give gifts that loved ones will enjoy and avoid the crowded stores, sore feet and busy traffic. If you work Monday through Friday, add this day to a weekend so that you actually have a three day span of time to shop and wrap at a more leisurely pace. And Finally: Sprinkle all of this with the understanding that your friends and family have a set of hands too. Find ways to include them in the preparation and cleanup so that you’re not a one-person act. You can do this in creative ways. For instance, put small slips of paper with a variety of tasks on them and stuff the papers into ornaments. Hand these to guests and family who come to celebrate. Tasks can include setting the table, taking out the trash, clearing the table. Some can even be a free pass to get out of helping. What a relief to you and fun for those around you, especially those who get out of helping without the guilt. This year decide that your holiday isn’t going to be half baked or overdone. It’s all up to you. Sounds delicious. I can taste it already.

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Mental Health

Tom Pletcher

2012-11-01 14:39:51

Q- I am proud to say that I am turning 81 years young next month. I have remained active throughout my retirement, but lost my husband whom I was married to for 60 wonderful years last year and I miss him. I have tried to keep my mind busy, but have slowly lost interest in all the activities I used to participate in. I would rather stay home and rest. My energy levels just aren’t the same. Is this just part of growing old?

A- Everyone has experienced a period of sadness during his or her lifetime. Sometimes these feelings of sadness are in response to something that has happened such as the loss of a loved one or experiencing a difficult time. But, there is a difference between feeling sad in response to a life event and experiencing a clinical depression. Depression is not just “feeling blue” or feeling grief after a loss. Depression is a feeling of sadness that lasts for many weeks and does not go away. Depression interferes with your daily activities and often includes changes in sleep, appetite, and a general loss of energy. Depression is a common illness that affects millions of Americans each year, but it is a treatable illness. Depression is caused by an imbalance in brain chemicals. Men and women of all ages, genders, races, ethnic groups, and economic status can experience depression. Famous people, including actors, successful business people, and politicians have spoken out about their experiences with late-life depression. The symptoms of depression in older persons differ from those experienced by young persons or those in midlife. The signs that an older person may be suffering from depression include the inability to sleep, memory problems, confusion, withdrawal from social events, and irritability. Other risk factors for late-life depression include gender (women are more likely to suffer from late-life depression than men), being single (especially widowed), and lack of friends (living alone at home with few outside contacts with other people). As we age, there are life events that can trigger a clinical depression. Physical health conditions such as heart attack, stroke, hip fracture, bypass surgery, and macular degeneration are often associated with the development of depression. Hormonal changes in women have been shown to trigger depression. Increased alcohol or drug use (including over-the-counter medications) may lead to a clinical depression. Certain medications prescribed by your physician or a combination of medications can cause a clinical depression. Medicines prescribed for pain, high blood pressure, and arthritis; hormonal treatments; and tranquilizers can result in a change in brain chemicals to trigger a clinical depression. If you have become worried that you feel “low” or your changes in sleep patterns are disrupting your normal activities, you should seek help. Some of your friends may have told you that your feelings are normal for someone your age, or that depression is expected as you experience physical limitations in life. This is not true. Depression is not a normal function of aging. Please don’t be afraid to ask for help. Contact your family, your medical doctor or a mental health professional that can help you start feeling better. When you feel sad over a period of time, it is time to seek treatment.

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Mental Health

Michelle Gaborie

2012-10-03 10:16:27

Q- I was wondering if you had any suggestions on keeping your mind fit?

A- There is widespread agreement that leading an active life (physically,mentally and socially) keeps the mind sharp as we age. If you are concerned that your memory is slipping or that your problem-solving skills are not as sharp as they once were, bear in mind that engaging in activities such as learning a new foreign language, playing bridge or chess or doing Sudoku puzzles is better for you than watching TV. You may even want to enlist the help of grandchildren to introduce you to computer-level class or taking an adult course in a subject in which you have always been interested.

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Mental Health

Jason Scheck

2012-10-02 14:04:18

Q- I have been married to my husband for 10 wonderful years. For the last year I have noticed a change in him. He’s been moody and irritable, always exhausted, and he gets no joy out of anything he does anymore. He once mentioned that he felt suicidal but regretted telling me and refuses to talk about it. I can't force him to go to the doctor but it is sad seeing him so depressed. What can I do to help him?

A- Depression is a serious but treatable medical condition — a brain disease — that can affect anyone. Whether you're a company executive, a construction worker, a waiter, a police officer, or a student; whether you are rich or poor; surrounded by loved ones or alone; you are not immune to depression. If left untreated, depression can lead to personal, family, and financial difficulties. With an appropriate diagnosis and treatment however, most people recover, the darkness disappears, there’s hope for the future, and energy and interest in life will return. Some common symptoms of depression are: • Persistent sadness, anxiety, or "empty" mood • Feelings of hopelessness, pessimism • Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness • Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities • Decreased energy, fatigue, being "slowed down" • Difficulty concentrating, remembering, making decisions • Difficulty sleeping, early-morning awakening, or oversleeping • Appetite and/or weight changes • Thoughts of death or suicide; suicide attempts • Restlessness, irritability • Persistent physical symptoms There are many reasons why men don’t or won’t get treated for depression. Most important among them is that men are less willing to admit they’re depressed and need help. There is still stigma attached to having any psychiatric illness, but men are taught to just grin and bear it, get on with life, and provide for their families. Men are less likely to seek treatment, in part because there is a tendency for men to tough it out. The problem with not seeking treatment is that depression tends to get worse, and affects all areas of a man's life. Many men will self-medicate with alcohol or drugs. And, men — especially older men — have higher rates of suicide than women do. Men should be encouraged to seek medical attention for their depression. Depression can be a life threatening situation that needs to be properly diagnosed, addressed, and monitored. Depression is an illness and men should not feel it results from weakness. It doesn't reflect their character any more than a broken leg does. If these signs and symptoms describe you or a man that you care about, talk to your healthcare provider or contact a mental health professional. All information remains strictly confidential, so please consider getting help and start feeling better soon.

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Mental Health

Lisa Vermillion

2012-10-02 13:40:46

Q- I am dealing with a couple major transitions in my life, and I just feel overwhelmed. What can I do to get back on track?

A- Do what you need to do. Feel what you need to feel. Move like you need to move or go where you need to go. Transitions in life can be tough. We go through many transitions in our lives and all of them require change. WE change homes perhaps states, we change spouses, through death or divorce, we change kids when the move our, we change jobs, friends, financial status, etc. Life is full of decisions and transitions. Some, like changing the car you drive, or which laptop computer you use, don’t require much from us in how we go about transitioning from one thing to the other. Others, like changing jobs or adjusting to life after the loss of a spouse, require us to adapt on a grander scale. When life changing transitions take place, manage them by doing what you need to do, feeling what you need to feel, and going where you need to go. First, do what you need to do. When major changes happen, it can be tempting to sit down and do nothing. You may feel overwhelmed by all the things you need to do to adapt to your transition. For example, recently I went through a major business renovation. There was packing to be done, selling, and moving. It would be an understatement to say I felt overwhelmed. It would have been easy to simply choose not to do anything; however, knowing that strategy wouldn’t work, I made a list, picked the things I knew I had to do, and delegated the rest. I chose to focus on the one thing I could do at that moment. Second, feel what you need to feel. Avoiding feeling pain or anger only prolongs healing time. Avoidance behaviors include, excessive drinking, eating, smoking, shopping, working, or really anything that distracts you from handling your true feelings. It’s unpleasant to sit on your kitchen floor, crying and just let out the sadness you feel deep in your gut. It may feel impossible to take a day off work to just sit in your emotion and talk your feelings out with a trusted friend, or journal them. When you take time to take care of yourself in this way, healing occurs so much faster than if you ignore your feelings and gloss over them. Ignoring negative feelings doesn’t make them go away; it only prolongs the pain. Feel what you need to feel when you need to feel it. Third, move on. Once you’ve given yourself opportunity to feel your emotions, it’s time to set your plan for the next course and then get moving. Perhaps you don’t know what to do; make an options list and pick something. Taking any step forward will start the wheels rolling toward happiness. Unpack a box, meet a new neighbor, make a phone call, anything. No matter how small, it is a step. Transitions in life can be tricky. By doing what you need to do, feeling what you need to feel and then moving where you need to move, you will adjust more quickly and come out on the other side healthier and happier in far less time.

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Mental Health

Jody Patterson

2012-08-01 12:35:51

Q- I visited my daughter last week who lives out of state, and was surprised by some changes I saw in my 4-year-old grandson. He was restless, had anger outbursts and threatened to hurt his mother when he didn’t get his way. Concerned, I asked my daughter about this change of behavior and, to my surprise, my daughter just brushed it off as him “just being a 4 year old.” Isn’t it true that treating a child’s negative behavioral issues now can only benefit him for years to come? I am a concerned grandmother. Please help.

A- Identifying mental and emotional disorders in children can be tricky. Children differ from adults in that they experience many physical, mental and emotional changes as they progress through their natural growth and development. They also are learning how to cope with, adapt and relate to others and the world around them. Further, each child matures at his or her own pace, and what is considered "normal" in children falls within a wide range of behavior and abilities. For these reasons, any diagnosis of a mental or emotional disorder must be based on how well a child functions at home, within the family, at school and with peers, as well as the child's age and symptoms. Some of the mental health conditions that are more common in children include: Anxiety disorders: Children with anxiety disorders often respond to certain situations with fear and dread, as well as with physical signs of anxiety, such as a rapid heartbeat and sweating. Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD): Children with ADHD generally have problems paying attention or concentrating, can't seem to follow directions, and are easily bored and/or frustrated with tasks. They also tend to move constantly and are impulsive (do not think before they act). Disruptive behavior disorders: Children with these disorders tend to be argumentative, defy rules and often are disruptive in structured environments, such as school, beyond what is typical for their age. Affective (mood) disorders: These disorders involve persistent feelings of sadness, irritability and/or rapidly changing moods, and include depression and bipolar disorder. Other symptoms in children vary depending on the type of mental illness, but some general symptoms include inability to cope with daily problems and activities, changes in sleeping and/or eating habits, defying authority, skipping school, stealing or damaging property, frequent outbursts of anger, changes in school performance, loss of interest in friends and activities they usually enjoy, significant increase in time spent alone, excessive worrying or anxiety, persistent disobedience or aggressive behavior, and abuse of drugs and/or alcohol. The exact cause of most mental disorders is not known, but research suggests that a combination of factors, including heredity, biology, psychological trauma and environmental stress might be involved. Untreated, mental health problems can disrupt children’s functioning at home, school and in the community. Without treatment, children with mental health issues are at an increased risk of school failure, contact with the criminal justice system, dependence on social services, substance abuse, and even suicide. Providing effective age-appropriate services and supports to young children and their families has immediate and lifelong benefits. Studies suggest children who receive effective mental health services and supports are more likely to complete high school, have fewer contacts with law enforcement and improve their ability to live independently. Now is the time to close the gap between the need for children’s mental health services and their families receiving services. Our children are our future. Take time to educate yourself about children’s mental health and how families are impacted by mental health issues. And please, take the time to help them get the help they need.

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Mental Health

Marilyn Cook

2011-12-27 09:30:20

Q: Faithfully each year, I make my New Year’s resolution. I am committed and work at it for a month or two. Then all of a sudden the resolution begins to slip away. What can I do to be better to myself?

A: On January 1, many of us will once again vow to lose weight, stop smoking, be healthier or improve our finances. And while the intentions are often genuine, with most people starting out strong and committed, these commitments often fall by the wayside by February. The winter blues set in, you’ve only lost two pounds in two months, the gym will once again be a place that you struggle to get to and is overcrowded by others making similar commitments, and there is always next year. Take charge of your life this year by initiating a lifestyle change. A mindful approach and compassion for yourself will leave you revitalized, positive and ready to take on almost anything. How do you do this? It is not easy, but it is something you will be able to embrace and keep as a part of your daily life unlike the trendy resolutions that usually fail. The first step is mindful self compassion. The foundation of emotional healing is being aware, being in the present moment when struggling with feelings of inadequacy, despair, fear, anger, shame and other forms of stress. Having self compassion entails responding with kindness and understanding to one’s self, which often leads to greater ease and well-being in our daily lives. Mindfulness is clearly seeing and accepting what’s happening right now—without judgment. The idea is that we need to see things as they are, no more, no less, in order to respond in an effective manner. When something goes wrong, we need to stop, acknowledge that we’re going through a difficult time and recognize that we deserve to respond to our circumstances in a caring way. Self compassion is a form of acceptance. Self compassion means being warm towards oneself when encountering pain and personal shortcomings rather than ignoring them or hurting oneself with criticism. Self compassion involves recognizing that suffering and personal failure is part of the human experience. Every person with a desire to do so can develop and strengthen these skills and bring them into their everyday lives. In practicing self compassion, you can better accept the person you are and continue to move forward and grow. Be a detective. Catch yourself if you are: • Comparing yourself to others and putting yourself down • Giving up on doing something because you feel it’s hopeless • Worrying about what might happen in the future • Being a perfectionist These tendencies do not promote self-compassion; rather, they give fuel to your “inner critic”. By noticing your tendencies, and being mindful of the circumstances that trigger them, you can get more of your life back. Take charge - you have a choice. We’re not talking about denying or shoving down your emotions, but rather about noticing them and consciously choosing how you want to react. The simple act of taking a few deep breaths gives you a chance to calm the body, reclaim the mind and look at things in a fresh way. It’s what allows you to respond, rather than just react. The steps are simple in nature but hard to consistently enact. We suggest that you live in the moment, be mindful of your emotions and to consciously choose how you are going to respond to them. With a little practice, you’ll be amazed at how good it feels! Best wishes for 2012. We hope you’ll choose to fill it with conscious, healthy choices and to be kind to yourself in the process.

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Mental Health

Charlie Traffas

2010-10-01 10:11:00

Question: I’ve been feeling very low and hopeless for a few months and can’t seem to turn my mood around. My husband thinks I may be depressed, but I’ve always thought that was just something people said when they felt sad. Could I actually be depressed?

Answer: Depression is a serious condition that can impact every area of your life. It can affect your social life, interest in things you once found enjoyable, your family relationships, your career, and your sense of self-worth and purpose. According to the National Mental Health Association, approximately 12 million women in the United States experience clinical depression each year. And, as many as one out of every four women is likely to experience an episode of major depression at some point in her life. But the good news is that depression is treatable, and the more you understand about depression, the more equipped you will be to tackle the condition head on. Depression is a serious and pervasive mood disorder. It causes feelings of sadness, hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness. Depression can be mild to moderate with symptoms of apathy, little appetite, difficulty sleeping, low self-esteem and low-grade fatigue. Or, it can be major depression with debilitating symptoms of depressed mood most of the day, diminished interest in daily activities, weight loss or gain, insomnia or hypersomnia (oversleeping), fatigue, diminished sex drive, feelings of guilt almost daily, and recurring thoughts of death or suicide. Experts believe that the increased chance of depression in women may be related to changes in hormone levels that occur throughout a woman’s life. These changes are evident during puberty, pregnancy and menopause, as well as after giving birth, having a hysterectomy, or experiencing a miscarriage. In addition, the hormone fluctuations that occur with each month’s menstrual cycle probably contribute to premenstrual syndrome (PMS) and premenstrual dysphoric disorder, or PMDD -- a severe syndrome marked especially by depression, anxiety, cyclical mood shifts and lethargy. Before adolescence, the rate of depression is about the same in girls and boys. However, with the onset of puberty, a girl’s risk of developing depression increases dramatically to twice that of boys. Many women face additional stresses of work and home responsibilities, caring for children and aging parents, abuse, poverty, and relationship strains. It remains unclear why some women faced with enormous challenges develop depression, while others with similar challenges do not. Depression can also coexist with other serious medical illnesses, such as heart disease, stroke, cancer, HIV/AIDS, diabetes, Parkinson’s disease, thyroid problems and multiple sclerosis, and may even make symptoms of the illness worse. Studies have shown that both women and men who have depression in addition to a serious medical illness tend to have more severe symptoms of both illnesses. They also have more difficulty adapting to their medical condition, and more medical costs than those who do not have coexisting depression. Research has shown that treating the depression, along with the coexisting illness, will help ease both conditions. And while depression due to life events is common and sometimes diminishes with time, if your feelings of depression don’t improve after talking with close friends or significant people in your life, you may want to consider seeking treatment. If you are hesitant to seek treatment on your own, perhaps asking your husband or someone else close to you to accompany you to the appointment may help you take that first step. Even with treatment, depression will take some time to resolve. If an anti-depressive medication is prescribed, keep in mind that it takes several weeks for many of them to reach a therapeutic level and for you to be feeling better. Communicate your feelings with individuals in your life who matter to you and tell them what they can do to be supportive of you in this process. COMCARE of Sedgwick County is a licensed Community Mental Health Center. You may contact COMCARE at 316-660-7540 and talk with a qualified professional about a variety of methods used to treat depression, including medications such as antidepressants and psychotherapy. You and your mental health care provider will determine the best course of treatment for you.